The most hilarious English translations

Look, we have Kiek who has quite an extensive list of words that she absolutely does not understand, but something I always find the funniest are the literal translations, or just hilarious translations that make no sense, from Dutch to English. I have worked for years as a translator (always from Dutch to English), but also as an editor of English texts and believe me: you sometimes come across things that really make you chuckle. Here they come:

Chicken skin

The most obvious example is of course the translation of chicken skin. Believe me, if you talk about chicken skin in an English-speaking country, they won't understand it at all. Just stick to goosebumps. It's also funny when you translate that back to Dutch: gansbulten.

Nothing on the hand

Fine that there is nothing wrong, but anyway your English-speaking friend immediately checks his hands.

Clean mother

A clean mother-in-law. Always nice to have.

A holy bean

Can be ordered, you’ll just receive a bunch of coffee beans at home. But still not quite the same as a holy bean.

Unfortunately peanut butter

Yeah dude, this is really a mindfuck and the most illogical expression in English ever. Just use ‘too bad’, it causes a lot less confusion.

The point cam

In the category ‘English à la Dave Roelvink’ I would like to introduce you to ‘the point cam’. Also known as the point comb with which he styles his divine locks.

Cheese head

In other words, us Dutch people. Still a bit different in another language.

Pale fart

Just a little about that post from Kiki and the words she didn’t understand, well, ‘bleekscheet’ was also among them. Kiek, I get you, let’s never translate that either.

Plague head

That office mean girl gets a different vibe when you call her that instead of bully. And that’s how you survive her by the way.

Box

Okay, not necessarily a crazy translation because this is just a box, but if you use it to describe someone it doesn’t sound right at all if you say: ‘You’re a box.’

By the way, do you want to know which words are most often mispronounced? Here you go. Teacher Elkie is out.