Fun & Famous
WHY WOMEN GO WILD FOR DAVE ROELVINK
BAM. And there was Dave. In 2014 something happened with a jacuzzi and fellatio and suddenly half of the Netherlands knew the son of Dries Roelvink. Not really in a positive way, but a person has to start somewhere. Right, Kim Kardashian? Right, Paris? No, it's completely clear to me. If you want fame in your life, you just release a sex tape. I see the benefits. Easy, cheap, quick to spread, okay, maybe a bit embarrassing, but just push through and two years later you have your own reality show. Thanks for the tip, Dave. I'll check when the right timing is to release Kiki Durex the movie. By the way, do you want a guest role?
No, okay, without joking. By now we are two years further, Dave has become a lot more mature, and GODDAMN, suddenly also a lot sexier. It's time again tonight for my favorite Expedition Robinson (check here the absurdly well-read piece from last week by the way) and I'm already looking forward to Dave. Because Dave is ridiculously handsome every week. And funny. And nice. And suddenly all of the Netherlands notices that Dave is actually quite the shit. Slowly we dare to admit that here and there. A typical Justin Bieber-case actually. Someone grows up, and from one day to the next you see a video pass by and think: okay, daaaamn, you hot boy. And then: seriously, am I really thinking this? But then it's already too late. Once thought and you have Bieber Fever for life. Or the Dave Diarrhea (DD), where you, like me, can't stop babbling about Dave. Can’t stop the feeling. A cocktail of too handsome and too wrong, I'm afraid.
For those who don't feel the Dave hotness at all: I’d love to explain it to you. This is why that wonderfully uncomplicated ordinary Dave Roelvink is so sexy:
His eyes
I seriously thought they were colored lenses. I mean: this can't be true? So beautiful? So blue. But no, with Dave that’s totally possible. Just imagine these bright blue bead eyes looking at you intensely during a wrestling match. While he holds your arms tightly. And then feel the strange shiver that runs down your back. Do you feel it? Good, welcome to team DD.
His participation in experienced Expedition Robinson
Because we are now discovering that Dave is really a great person to have in the group. He is funny, doesn't whine, shows leadership, and treats women kindly.
His kisses
WOW, now we come to my point, okay. Have you ever seen him give a kiss to a man? On the forehead of poor Bartho Braat who was voted out for example? Damn, there you go, melting.
His tattoos
We women don't really know what it is, but there’s something about men and tattoos. Dave also has a nice tattoo sleeve and on him, it looks incredibly Justin Bieberish. Footballerish. You-can-sleep-next-to-me-ish.
His bad boy image
Well, I can be brief about this: women are quite into that. Because naughty men are tough men are sexy men. Just read this to see why so many women go wild for Harvey Specter.
His hair
And especially how he runs his hand through his hair. With anyone else it would have been a total gay move, but with Dave hotter than hell.
His hearty laugh
Yes okay, that accent is way too Martin Morero-bloodordinary, but that laugh? Yes, we like that laugh, okay. We thrive on it. It gives us a few butterflies.
Dave, so far my ode to you. Shall we grab a coffee soon at Pilotenstraat 23? I'll take care of the jacuzzi. Okay, JUST KIDDING, people.
