The coolest detox of the moment has nothing to do with juices and diets

Enthusiastically, I pour a cup of tea. I feel incredibly healthy because, yes: I drink detox tea. And I don't even eat a bar chocolate with it. Hooray for myself.

I don't know why, but at such a moment I feel extraordinarily grown-up. As if I have everything in order in life. I immediately forget that I always wear two different socks and also that I don't know which container the fabric softener should go in. Or that I haven't saved much for my pension yet. Tea can do a lot for a person, yes. But that's not what it's about anymore in 2018. Because I'm out of fashion, with my lovely white tea boxes full of promises of detoxing and de-slugging. There is a new detox that is winning hearts. No tea, no juice cleanse, and also no carbohydrate, fat, sugar, and gluten-free diet. No.

Goodbye wifi, I loved you long time

The trendiest detox at the moment is nothing less than the digital detox. As in: away with that smartphone, away with that laptop, and away with that iPad. Also known as consuming less. Being less available for everything and everyone. Staring less at photos in your own feed for the 91st time. Taking fewer photos of every paving stone you walk over. Read a book for once, damn it. And yes, go outside. You can take a beach walk even in winter, you know. And you don't make a Story out of that. That idea. Not my idea, but still. It's trendier than ever, and in Hollywood, many stars are already believing in it. Instagram accounts are being deleted, scrolling on Facebook doesn't matter anymore, and the news is no longer updated every second of the day in various apps. I mean it: newspapers are being read again. Because taking in the most important news once a day instead of 62 push notifications on your mobile screen, it has something. And on Twitter, there's only junk anyway. Away with those accounts and apps.

Hotels and wellness centers are already responding to the trend. You can check in at more and more resorts and then be required to leave your phone (and iPad and laptop) at the front desk. Days or even weeks without tweets, snaps or Stories. And no emails. Oh my god, no email. For your entire stay, you have nothing to do with the whole online world. You go home completely zen, just watch out. Your mother will be worried sick, but you can always explain that.

Well, here I am, with that old-fashioned tea, my phone glowing red two centimeters away from me and my laptop glued to my lap until I go to sleep. I might as well grab a chunk of chocolate, right? And from now on, I'll just drink a glass of star mint. Regards.

FACTS

• 22 percent of the total world population has an account on Facebook.
• Every second, 9000 photos are thrown into the world of Snapchat.
• On Pinterest, there are more than 146 million boards that are about ‘fashion’.