This was the scariest thing in my life

So there I am. With trembling legs and a super tight little mouth. Sorry, but I really can't do this. I don't want to die yet. Why on earth would people want to do this for fun? That pony suddenly starts sticking suspiciously to my forehead. I recognize this: this is pure fear sweat.

I am in Costa Rica, standing on a cliff and looking hundreds of meters into the abyss, admiring the green rainforest in all its glory. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice whispers: this is not human, hanging by a thin string. And yes, yes, you are securely fastened, but what if you are the one where it all goes wrong? I look at my travel companions and see varying expressions. One is eager to go ziplining, the other looks a bit hesitant towards the depth.

“Come on, Kiek, you are here now, you can do this” I hear from the left. “Yeah, but uh, error, I am really very scared.” The instructor looks at me reassuringly and says we can go together the first time. Once I am over the ‘practice zipline’, I have to make the choice: either stop or continue. If I choose to continue, I can't go back and there are still six lines to follow. With trembling legs, I arrive at the second line. Now it’s for real. Through the jungle, 700 meters long, and as a tip I get ‘Scream as hard as you can’ to master the adrenaline in your body. No, that’s a nice tip, dude. Now my heart is really pounding in my throat. Fuckerdefuck. Inner struggle with myself.

I don't want to be the one in the group who stays behind. I don't want to see how the others come back full of enthusiasm and I have to ask: “So, how was it?” I no longer want to be led by fear. So I jump. And if anyone should be scared, it would be the howler monkeys below me from the “AAAAAOOOOWWYEEEHAAAAAAH” scream that was happening above them. Once on the other side, I almost want to cry from triumph. Drumming on my chest (to keep it in the jungle theme) out of pride. Jeez, I freaking did it. The moral of this story? Letting fear lead you is sometimes a real shame, because you miss ridiculously beautiful and cool things. Maybe even the coolest moments of your life.

So when in doubt about whether to jump into the deep end: just do it. Then you’ll find out that you can and dare more than you think. And then you are proud. And happy. And you have grown a little more. And that is truly Pura Vida, as the Costa Ricans say.