What to do when you are extremely grumpy
People know me as an always cheerful person. Most of the time. Only today, today I am the worst version of myself. I am so grumpy that people are laughing at me. Well, then you know you've got it bad. It was so bad that I was doing some sort of failed breathing exercise in traffic and telling myself that everything would be alright, sweetheart. I just had to pretend it wasn't so. From myself, huh? Then the grumpiness is on. There are things that help, talking to yourself in traffic afterwards.
‘Wannabe’ by the Spice Girls playing
And singing at the top of your lungs and most off-key, without caring. By the way, dancing is allowed here, as long as your office space lends itself a bit to it. A dismissal doesn't help in lifting your mood.
And then ‘Together Again’ by Janet Jackson
That ‘Everywhere I go, every smile I see’ works almost therapeutically. Meanwhile, you lean a little away from your chair and wave your arms around energetically. It lightens the mood, it kind of waves off of you.
Eating peanut butter
Anyway, you give yourself all the food today that you normally leave in the cupboard. I had an extra thick layer creamy peanut butter (the type you think they stirred a lump of butter into) on a sandwich. I just ate two pieces (‘pieces’ you can't really call them) of filled speculaas. And tonight I'm getting a whole ball of burrata to eat all by myself. Already looking forward to it.
Considering putting a small splash in your coffee
Just to take the edge off. This is not expert advice by the way, but a splash of Baileys could warm you up a bit from the inside.
Spending money
In three days you'll wonder what on earth you ordered, but for now it's satisfying. I have a tab open with sneakers that don't fit me, a way too expensive bag that makes me a bit warm, coffee from the coffee jeweler, etcetera etcetera etcetera.
Watching the Magic Mike version of ‘I Want It That Way’ with the clip
Because you're about as grumpy as the cashier and then something like ‘How much for the Cheetos’ helps to laugh your mood off.
Telling everyone that it is so
Out of your mood. They find you far from pleasant, but they can handle you a bit better if you are grumbling your way through the workday.
Canceling your appointments
Cancel everything. If you aren't happy with yourself, then they won't be either.
By the way, don't answer the phone either
If you have such an all-encompassing grumpy attack, then no one wants to call you. And you don't want to call anyone.
Making a fool of yourself
Then they're okay with it, self-deprecation is the trick to being legally grumpy.
To wrap it up thoroughly
Once home, you pull a blanket over your head, turn on your favorite series and don't open the door for anyone (but really no one) anymore.
