Why do we always want to be so nice?

“Does your wife have time to do my nails today?” I call our regular nail bar. A Vietnamese couple where you can always go, it smells like a bath of acrylic mixed with acetone and there are large screens hanging with uplifting programs like Say Yes To The Dress, My 600 lb-Life and of course 17 Kids and Counting. Delightful, in short. The only thing is: when she does your nails, it’s perfect. With him, it starts chipping after about three days. But yes, do we dare to ask him for her? She doesn’t speak Dutch so you make your appointment with him.

A case of a knot in your stomach. But since I didn’t turn 45 to not be able to handle these kinds of situations, I call, clear my throat and ask as casually as possible if his wife has time to do my nails. Now just hoping that this has come through, otherwise I’ll have to ask her again on the spot and then it will get really awkward.

Us women. We know exactly what we want, but asking for it, we find difficult. How many women do I know who are not happy with their cleaner. For five years. But not saying anything, right. Not saying anything. Because that’s rude. That you pay someone 50 euros every week whom you’re not happy with is mainly rude to yourself, but we don’t change it.

I happen to be very happy with my cleaners, but I found it a huge hurdle to ask them if they could throw away the bag with empty bottles and the box that our new TV came in. But why? Should I do it myself?

Another thing is to point something out to someone. I will never forget my first show at Hermès. The PR lady was waiting for me, but I didn’t know her otherwise. She was beautiful, sweet and wonderfully dressed. And her zipper was down. To say or not to say, that was the question. I did it and to this day she is grateful to me.

Telling someone that taking a mint (or brushing their teeth) wouldn’t be a bad idea, offering a tissue because something is hanging from their nose. I think if you don’t make a big deal out of it, it doesn’t come across as rude either.

So when the nail polish guy asks me why I want his wife, I’ll just say it. With her it lasts a long time, with you it doesn’t. Maybe you work just differently and that doesn’t suit me as well. Just straightforward and honest. I hope I can do it.