Why it is important to make new friends as an adult

When you're a teenager, you have eight hundred and fourteen best friends. A club here, a group there, sports buddies on Saturday, and at school, another bunch of loyal chat friends. And then suddenly you get older.

And as the years go by, the number of people you truly call friends gets smaller. You have less time: you work, have a relationship, you value outings with your father and mother and you start a family. You can't even imagine still being in the pub with 17 friends on Tuesdays, and you don't even talk about weekday coffees or grabbing a drink on the terrace anymore. No time, no energy. And that's fine, because you really enjoy yourself on Fridays and Saturdays with the few best buddies that are left after the golden social era.

Still, psychologists say it's important to regularly make new friendships as an adult. Even if you think you already have everyone you need in your life, take a look around you. Because you are different at every stage of life. You are not who you will be tomorrow, so to speak. So as nice as those friends are that you've known for ages, they may not fit as well in every phase that is yet to come. Unfortunately. And that's exactly why you need new contacts, for example, people you know through your work, who currently align well with your life and think the same about things.

Because it's not that your old friends disappear from your life when you make new friends. Your new friends are actually an addition to your life. Your life that is constantly changing. It's inevitable in life that people come and go. You might not be able to imagine that it could ever be different, but who knows what other paths you and your buddies might choose. So it's not a given that the group you have gathered around you now will be there forever.

So how do you best do it, making friends when you're no longer a teenager? Find a passion or a hobby that makes you happy and strike up a good conversation at a course, training, or something else related to it. A friendship often starts with sharing an important interest. It often happens naturally. Invite the person you click with to meet up outside of the course. There's a good chance that it will really take off after that. And do take a little time for it, of course. Rome wasn't built in a day.

And before you know it, you'll have eight hundred and fourteen of them at your birthday, just you wait.

FACTS

• More than 40% of adults in the Netherlands feel lonely.
• On average, you can maintain no more than 4 best friends
• On average, half of the people you consider friends do not see you as a friend