Why it's okay to love your pet more than most people

My cat is missing. After lying faithfully on my lap every day for five years, she hasn't come home from one day to the next.

And believe me: that's harder than I ever expected. My boyfriend and I have two kittens: Gin and Tonic. Yes, really. And now Tonic is gone. And only gin... That doesn't feel right. They were our little ones, our babies (because real babies don't exist yet), our little friends, our family. It made me think: how much can people love a pet? How much can I miss her every day, because... It's just a cat, right? Not a human. Is it crazy if we cry for her together before going to sleep?

Often, pet owners love their cats and dogs more than most other people. Research shows that pets really make you happier. It also turns out that grieving for a pet is comparable to grieving for a human. That's hard to explain, because you quickly become afraid of being seen as ‘that crazy cat lady’ or ‘that exaggerated dog friend.’.

People generally believe that a relationship between two humans is more important than a relationship between human and animal. But for many, this is not the case at all. Of course, I love many dear ones around me, but I also really love my cats a lot. I still love my deceased childhood dog, a black labrador, who was a true friend for 14 years. According to psychologist Nienke Endenburg, who specializes in pet grief, people in the Netherlands grieve for their dog or cat for an average of 8.5 months. ‘The stronger the bond with the animal was, the longer the grieving process lasts. Animals can have been a great support during a divorce or illness. When such an animal dies, it feels like a part of the family or yourself is lost.’

Then I still have a long way to go, unfortunately. Our little life is no longer complete. Never again that wagging gray-black friend waiting by the window. And I can certainly laugh, work, eat with friends chat, act happy, and be myself, but coming home is never the same again.

Source: Het Parool