Why tasting a wedding cake is the most boring thing you can do

For days we had been looking forward to it: Saturday morning we would finally go choose a wedding cake. And cake equals celebration, of course.

We were already hallucinating about cupcakes in flavors like vanilla, blueberries, macadamia cream, red velvet, truffle chocolate, and maybe even strawberry. We daydreamed of icing in creamy flavors, from hazelnut to elderflower, from panna cotta to lavender. We thought with a sparkle in our eyes about fillings of fresh red fruits, mangoes, or maybe passion fruits or violets and rose hips? We talked about toppings like golden balls, golden berries, and golden hearts, which are not only pretty but also taste like only the best white chocolate can. We also didn't forget the whipped cream, that fresh whipped cream that makes everything so creamy and makes the whole slice of cake melt away on your tongue. Yes, trying and judging all those choices of wedding cakes was marked with little flags and confetti in the agenda .

But like with so many dreams: they don't come true. The truth turns out to be, well, somewhat disappointing. Because when we finally drove to Utrecht to go to that one best bakery to taste cakes, it actually didn't amount to much. On the contrary: we were thrown one half slice of cake that we could share. Other flavors? There were none. And that just couldn't be. Because if you want a tiered cake, like we do, no, yes, then it can only be vanilla. No fruit allowed. Icing? Old-fashioned. It will be white. Everything will be white. And whipped cream is just whipped cream.

We literally stood outside again after ten minutes. And let's be honest, if a wedding cake costs you almost ten bucks per guest at the wedding, you can calculate what an immense amount you spend in that bakery and that you should at least expect to choose between blueberries or raspberries as decoration. But no. We didn't taste anything. Not even allowed to look at a red velvet cake.

Well, my boyfriend and I could laugh heartily when we were finally outside at the bakery. We looked at each other and understood each other immediately. What kind of crazy appointment was this? Are we so poetic that we thought it would be a bit more romantic? That there would be any choice at all? We walked away laughing. And that we have fun together in bleak cake-less times is of course much more important than that whole cake on the big day.

’In the evening on the couch, we did eat a cream puff, though. Somehow we still had a craving for something sweet.

FACTS

• An official wedding cake has at least three layers.
• The whiter the cake, the richer the couple is. At least, that's what people used to think.
• The tallest wedding cake ever made was 26 meters high.