Why Meghan Markle's father is very sad

Poor Meghan Markle. Poor Harry. Poor dad. What's going on? Well, here's the thing. Meghan's father has been paid for ‘spontaneous’ paparazzi shots of him in a café where he casually sits behind his computer. Reportedly, he received 100,000 euros for it. A disgrace, of course. Everyone is in shock. The royal family is horrified in silence. Meghan feels intensely uncomfortable because hey, it's her father and the man who will walk her down the aisle on Saturday. It immediately makes painfully clear how great the cultural difference is between the world she comes from and the planet she will officially belong to starting Saturday.

Still, I want to make a small case for Thomas Markle. Imagine this: your little girl gets swept away by a prince. Suddenly, not only is she world news, but you are too. In all the tabloids, you see the photo of your round belly while being measured for a tuxedo to walk your daughter down the aisle. A moment that will probably be watched live by more than a hundred million people. You are chased by paparazzi. They email you. Call you. Follow you. Then someone comes along who looks quite nice. Who talks to you. Who says: ‘Give me a photo and then you’re done with me.’ You make an appointment. You stage it a bit, a bit like Wouter Bos who didn’t want to pose with a baby and then just went into the park with an empty stroller and happened to run into a paparazzo. He also gives you a bag of money, which you could really use if you’re honest, because you’re not doing that well. And you want to buy a nice suit and not show up with a silly gift. Now all your problems are solved. You can pay for your ticket. Your suit. A gift. And you can travel back and forth to England often in the coming time.

I can imagine it went like this. Moreover, you’re not hurting anyone. But now it has come out and now everyone is angry. You would be profiting from your daughter's happiness. Your stomach is already turning at the thought of facing the queen on Saturday. But you know, dear Thomas Markle, she is no better than you. She just happened to end up in a different cradle. And you have produced that pearl of a daughter. They can’t all say that. And just to be sure, read the etiquette guide during royal weddings that Simone has written.