You should never use these words in an argument

I don't know how it goes at your home, but under my roof it can sometimes really crackle. We are truly happy, you know, but come on... Sometimes you just want to strangle someone.

When he says he will be home at half past eight from a drink to watch Expeditie Robinson together and then it turns out to be half past two. I'm just saying, right? Moments when you consider locking the door and sending him off to a hotel and flushing his tickets for Ajax down the toilet. Men... #!%*!%(!.

Still, arguing isn't such a disaster after all. It's actually quite good for your relationship. Sometimes shouting a bit and releasing some frustration is relieving. You can't always be sweet and gentle. Sometimes you hate each other. And he hates a lot about you too. Wonderful. And then it's all good and cozy again, that's how things go in long relationships. But what you should learn, good relationship or not: be careful not to say this during a big fight. Then it works counterproductively and things go wrong. And then around Christmas, you suddenly find yourself alone.

These things are better swallowed during a big fight:

‘Calm down…’ No one on earth becomes calm from that. Steam coming out of his ears, that idea.
‘You just have to…’ It's pointless, because that only points a finger at his actions and what he should do differently. Speak from your feelings.
‘You are such a…’ Selfish? Jerk? Bag and fool of the highest order? Don't do that. You don't really mean it. Discuss the situation, not who he is. Rather say: ‘This awful evening makes me feel bad and sad.’
Don't scream at 80 decibels. They can't handle that.
‘You never understand me!’ Accusations unfortunately don't do the trick. You won't solve anything that way. He often understands you just fine, even if you think he doesn't right now.
‘You always think of yourself!’ Okay, there might be a kernel of truth in it, but don't use it. If necessary, just keep it to yourself.
‘You never listen to what I want.’ Leave out the ‘never’ and phrase it more as a question: ‘Why don't you listen to what I feel and what I'm sad about right now?’
‘Yesterday you said…’ That has nothing to do with the bickering of the moment.
Everything with ‘hate’. You really don't hate him. In an hour, everything will be fine again and sweetness will return.

Especially remember during an argument that it's a release for both of you, but you shouldn't bring up everything from ten years ago. Something about old cows. Don't forget that after the argument, you still want to have a somewhat normal evening on the couch with him. Don't make it too extreme. Shout, rant, and complain, and then it's enough. You don't need to dig that poor man into the ground until deep into the night. You won't become happier from that.

Well, come on. Now you know how. Go argue!