10 things you recognize when you are a drama on the road

Embarrassing but true: there was once a situation where I called my friend screaming while I was standing in the ditch with my hazard lights on. I didn't know how to go forward or backward and was – HEEEELP – lost. I was three hundred meters from my house. Anyway. Let's just say that these kinds of success stories don't really help when you're a nutcase on the road. Luckily, the Renault Twingo is standard at the door of Amayzine and I’m increasingly taking a spin. Something about practice and giving birth to skills and such.

Also a road maniac? You recognize this.

1. During. The. Reverse. Parking. You. Turn. The. Music. Down. Otherwise. You. See. Nothing. Get it.

2. Double roundabouts have crawled out of the depths of hell and are solely and purely made to make you wobble as a human.

3. You often find yourself stuck behind a truck because you saw too late that you could have overtaken it better.

4. Parking in traffic jams? Bye. I’ll just look for another spot a kilometer or eight from my destination, it doesn’t matter, walking is good for you.

5. Driving with navigation and still going the wrong way because multitasking = a thing.

6. When your loved ones know you’re going out with the car, you receive a text half an hour later saying: ‘Did you arrive safely?!’

7. Parking garages with steep slopes are expertly avoided because that slope test is not going to happen to you. Get it.

8. And when you do get flashed by your surroundings and suddenly end up in that parking garage, you are the person who always has to get out to pull a ticket from the machine because your judgment, well, left a lot to be desired. Love it.

9. When it suddenly starts to rain and you want to smoothly turn on the windshield wipers, they first go LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT-SPANISH-QUIET, which makes you completely lose your composure and you quickly turn them off again.

10. Sometimes you wonder if your driving instructor had an extremely good day when he/she let you pass.

Ah, driving, I’ve set myself a goal: in a year I can do it. Maybe. I think. Project Renault Twingo practice rounds around the office still going strong. Stay tuned.