Help my children have a sleep coach

‘No, you can't cheat, Tessa!’ When my husband says ‘Tessa’ I know it's serious. Especially when it's around three in the morning.

I still remember well that we, well, not too long ago, were swirling through the city together around this time. A drunken kiss at Leidseplein: that was more romantic than it sounds now. But suddenly you find yourself bickering about whether or not to give your son a sip of milk to make him stop crying. You hear screaming. Snapping. And you think: wow, that kiss and that pub, they feel quite far away, even though I still live close to Leidseplein.

Our twins don't want to sleep, and I could tell you a long story about what lack of sleep does to you, but you'll understand that yourself, whether you have kids or not. And out of desperation, I started googling and ended up with, yes: the sleep coach. A mother of twins, but hopefully someone my boys will listen to better. So we've been working on coaching for about a week now. Sleep training. My friends ask: what is that? And all my friends with young children ask: does it really work?

Okay, so what we do. No wait, first the golden tip: I have an amazing coach: Leonie from The Dream Company. A mother of two herself, so she knows exactly what I'm talking about. And I need her now more than ever. She provides rhythm and structure for the boys. We have a strict schedule with naps during the day, with what they eat when, and especially: what we do at night. The most important thing for a nine-month-old is to unlearn that they can drink milk at night. Otherwise, before you know it, you're serving milk until they're 14.

But that was hell. The first nights. Hell. Screaming children. And the worst part is, you know: if they get a sip of milk, they are quiet. But that is not allowed. Because that is ‘cheating’, according to my husband, who incidentally never seems to have that much trouble with it during board games or quizzes. So it’s night. And you just have to work the next day. Yeah, good luck with that. I'm not talking about five minutes of comforting a crying baby and not even about half an hour, but just about a perfectly fine three hours of a screaming baby in your arms, completely upset, you also in tears, in the middle of the night, bouncing and swaying through the house. At that moment, I hate not only the sleep coach (sorry Leonie), but also definitely my husband. Get lost with that cheating and you’re definitely not getting a kiss. I want to SLEEP. By the way, I really cried – because it was really not funny.

Honestly, I must confess: they were right, Leonie and Billy. Because it works. Thank God it works. Rhythm, setting rules, clearly indicating boundaries. No milk at night, just a pacifier. And at seven o'clock, turn on the lights and make it clear that it's morning. They listen. We're not completely there yet, but Bodi and Daaf are quiet for about five or six hours in a row. And that's quite something, believe me, as a mom of two babies.

So: I'm smiling again, the day has color again, I love my children again, and the world is good again. Everyone should get a sleep coach, you won't regret it. I could easily call her a miracle coach.