13 tile wisdoms for lazy donkeys

You. Watch. For. Three. Quarters. Of. An. Hour. At. Omroep. Max. Because. The. Remote. Is. Too. Far. Do. You. Understand? For all the lazy spring rolls among us, I have good news: being lazy is not so crazy. In fact: we should sometimes be a bit lazier. Lazy animals live longer. Just look at the snail. And the koala.

At the editorial office, we toss one lazy statement after another to each other. We combined our strengths (and okay, half of it is from the always brilliant Rumag) and came up with the list below:

1. “If laziness were an Olympic sport, I would come in fourth. At least I wouldn't have to walk up on the podium.”

2. “I don’t run. And if you ever see me running, you better start running too. Because then I’m probably being chased by something scary.”

3. “Early to bed. Don’t go outside. Don’t go to a party. My punishments as a child have now become my adult goals.”

4. “I’m not lazy. I’m saving energy.”

5. “I also want to eat berries and do squats in the morning. But no, I lie in bed until three o'clock and just eat cookies.’

6. “Describe yourself in three words: lazy.”

7. “I’m so lazy now… If someone were to kidnap me, I would just think: okay, fuck it. I’ll just live here now.”

8. “I could have become so much in my life.

And what have I become?

Tired.”

9. “Laziness: the risk of dropping everything as long as you don’t have to walk again.”

10. “Laziness: the habit of resting before fatigue sets in.”

11. “The five symptoms of laziness…

Go away. Way too tired for that.”

12. “Maybe I’ll meet Beyoncé. Maybe I’ll go exercise. The chance is equally big.”

13. “Revenge? No, I’m too lazy for that.

I’ll just sit here chilling.

And wait.

Until karma messes up your life.”