Diary of a model
Lily spends her days as a model, rushing from shoot to show and on to yet another casting. On Amayzine, she tells you all about what her life is really like. Under a different name, of course, but that means she can share all the juicy details. This week: dealing with rejection.
Not only are Ariana Grande's exes replaced without too much effort, thank you, next. But as a model, you are one of many and thus easily interchangeable. Of course, everyone is unique in their own way and therefore irreplaceable and special, as many a mother tells her dear little children. Unfortunately, all those sweet maternal reassurances fly out the door as soon as you step into a casting for a specific type of girl.
It sometimes happens that a client calls the agency because they are looking for a girl with long red hair and blue eyes. The agency sends the girls who fit the look the client describes and bam, there are twenty girls who suddenly find their long-lost sisters. After a casting, you hear nothing in 99% from the ones who didn't make it. That's because clients don't want to call all the agencies to explain why the girl didn't get the job. The rule ‘silence means consent’ is reversed in fashion land: ‘silence means: nahhh, we don't want her for this shoot.’
Very rarely do you hear why a shoot doesn't go ahead. I've heard the following reasons among others: too tall, too young, doesn't want to cut bangs, or is just not the type we are looking for. As you can understand, it's quite frustrating to hear this (although hearing nothing is even more annoying). These are things you often can't do anything about. Yes, I could have cut those bangs, but whether that would have worked out well, I don't know either. So I often comfort myself with rejection by saying: it's nothing personal, I'm just not the type they are looking for. That becomes a bit harder when you step into a casting as described above.
Dealing with rejection and creating a thick (but not greasy) skin is something you learn over time and after a number of rejections. Of course, it still hurts sometimes. I may be a mannequin, but I'm a living mannequin with feelings. It's getting easier not to worry about the question of why I didn't get it and she did, or: what's not good enough about me. Besides not taking it personally, there are a few other things I can recommend to (future) fellow models.
Always make sure you have a plan B. Suppose you have an option for a great job in the Canary Islands and you really hope to get it, then it's smart to plan a fun concert or a day out in your own country with a friend on those same days. If the job unexpectedly doesn't go through, you still have fun things to look forward to. Just make sure you clearly indicate that if the job does go through, your friend should only go to Volendam or at least knows she might be disappointed. Well, models are just terrible to deal with. Sorry dear people whom I sometimes leave hanging last minute. I also actually don't share my options with everyone anymore. I prefer to wait until something is really confirmed before I share it. Nothing is more annoying than being all hyped about an option, it not happening, and then getting asked by everyone when you were leaving for the Canary Islands. ‘Oh yeah, no, that one unfortunately didn't go through,’ after which you often have to explain why it didn't happen, but can't explain because you've simply been ghosted by the client.
Those are a few good life lessons from me for you: take nothing personally, have no hope, share nothing, make sure you always have a plan B, and everyone is replaceable.
XX Kisses from Lily
