If you have lived in the city for more than 10 years, this happens

There was even a spontaneous moment when I betrayed Amsterdam: I wanted to live in a village. I thought, right. Because I heard that I'm having two little ones panic set in: now I have to. Because the city is too busy and the houses too cramped and the coffee shops too expensive.

Yet thank God I came to my senses and we just moved a few streets further. Even that already feels strange: after all those years from the Pijp to the Rivierenbuurt. But I won't make a fuss, because honestly: the neighborhoods look quite similar. Alright. We live just a bit bigger in a slightly quieter neighborhood – so all in all it's perfect. And it was in this new little house (because that's what we say here in Amsterdam) that I realized something. After living in the city for 10 years – whether it's Amsterdam, Utrecht, Rotterdam or Den Bosch or whatever, you'll recognize it just like I do. You don't know any better. That you see just a few meadows in an average week you don't notice. That there are villages where there's only a local supermarket and a bakery you won't care about. That it's always crowded on the street and in every lunch spot you don't see anymore. That there are traffic jams on the bike path you find normal. That it's never quiet or really dark you hardly notice. That there are also villages where at night no one is vomiting, shouting, peeing or stealing bikes on the street you can't remember.

The city changes you. Amsterdam is about the greatest love of my life, because this is my life. This is where I grew up. From teenager to adult woman, from student bars to the fancy restaurants I can only just afford now, from houses full of girlfriends, wine and guests to a neat grown-up house in Zuid with baby beds: it has happened. Here, in Mokum, all of that. Then at some point you start to love those canals full of rusty bikes, those trams full of day-trippers from the province and those streets full of weed smell. You get attached to it.

Yet it turns out I am a bit of an exception, because for years research has shown that people are happier when they live in a smaller municipality than when they dwell in the big city. The city with the lowest percentage of happy people is, for example, Rotterdam, where 82 percent of the people are happy. Compare that with the municipality of Hellendoorn, where happiness is just normal. There, 94 percent of the people are happy. People in Ede would be the happiest on average. Or go to Horst aan de Maas. or Alphen-Chaam. You find happiness everywhere.

But hey, if you're already in that huge rotten city: just stay there. With or without babies, dog or man. That village isn't going anywhere: you can always go there later when you're grown up. Maybe someday, when I'm really, really grown up.