If you're watching The Affair season 4

I heard myself say: your screen is your new book. That was after a relative of mine raised an eyebrow at the sight of five people all looking at their own screens. But if they had been books, there would have been nothing wrong. I was indeed watching high-quality drama. So culture. The Affair. Do you need to convince someone of the sheer necessity to watch this series? Then let them read this.

That's why I said to mine: just shut up now, because I need to know how it ends with Cole. And Alison. And Ben. And Helen. And Vik. And his annoying mother. And the neighbor. Oh my god, the NEIGHBOR.

For everyone who still wants to watch season 4, here comes a huge spoiler. Or you can just enjoy reading along and save ten hours of your precious time. You will miss the most beautiful season though.

1. Noah

He is simply physically unable to keep the penis in the pants. He can't do it, no matter where you put him.

2. Juliette

Remember that semi-literary fake French girl with whom season 3 ended? She's gone. Thank god.

3. Luisa

You know, Cole's wife. I think she's a sweetheart, but man, I get, sigh and groan, so tired of her whining and nagging. And then that secret bashing of Alison, it doesn't make you any more attractive.

4. Helen

Still my favorite character. Especially the scene where she sits on the ground next to Noah outside the hospital (‘Why are we sitting here, while there’s a couch over there?’) and tells him that Vik (SPOILER) is having a child with the neighbor he had sex with once. Noah looks at her with a look full of pity. ‘It’s ok,’ says Helen. ‘I fucked her too.’ Amazing.

And how grand is Helen when Vik is dying in the hospital? His last wish, a child, she couldn't give him. When the frisky neighbor tells her in the hospital that she is pregnant from a one-time fling with Vik, she first gives her a proper smack before saying that she needs to tell Vik, knowing that he will be able to die peacefully. Helen, have I already said that I love you?

5. Cole

I found you a bit of an irresponsible surfer boy at first (and I can never forget that scene where he approaches Alison so brutally on the hood while Noah is secretly watching. He will later say: ‘No married man ‘does’ his wife that way.’ But Cole grows into a balanced, experienced man who reaches the point where he no longer wants to live as people say it should be, but as he wants. How mature is he with Nan? And how generous is his mother when she later tells that she deliberately sent him there to make him realize that life is not always as you think it is and that it shouldn't be lived as you think others think you should live it?

6. Ben

Who are you, Ben? Will the real Ben please stand up? I really hope that Ben is the first version of the last chapter of Alison's life, but I'm so afraid that he is the second. I mean: she would never do this, right? Not for Joanie.

7. Cole and the urn

Run, Cole, run. And then sit all day by Gabriel's grave with Alison's urn. Cole, we feel you so.

8. Cole and Luisa

And then he remains so mature with Luisa. We arrange a deal with Luisa and Joanie and try to make her an official citizen now. Cole, you are one in a million.

9. The final shot

Helen walking up to the roof of the hospital, letting the sun land on her face and showing a big it’s-good-laugh. I just think that I don't want to say goodbye to my virtual friends, but it's okay. Really.

Image: Netflix