Kiki's Expedition Robinson babbles
Good morning little Robinson troublemaker. Do you know those days when you think you set your alarm but it turns out – FUCKFUCKFUCK – that’s not the case? And suddenly you wake up (or worse: get woken up by someone poking you in the side and saying: ‘Hey, weren’t you supposed to get up really early?’)? But that’s always at least half an hour later than intended, which means you suddenly have to operate faster than the light from your fridge to make it on time with what the hell you’re doing. And suddenly you hear El Professor's voice whispering in your ear: ‘Tengo exactamente diecinueve minutos para este artículo…’ Nineteen minutes, hey. For this article. Race against the clock, you usually do pretty well, LET’S GOOOOOO.
1. I suddenly see Akwasi sitting in group ‘purple’ with all the crazies like Crazy Eyes in Orange is the New Black, having to shove a little tube of pills down every morning. ‘It used to be so rosy at Camp South. It used to be so rosy at Camp South. It used to be so ro-…’
2. Dying over Roy Donders, who is just doing a sea manicure with Kim. ‘Wow, I just found out that you can clean your nails with those little pieces of coral. And that you can auction off pieces of rough coral. How cool is that?’
3. But back in the day, he did very masculine things, you know. Climbing trees and stuff. And laying bricks. Kim: ‘Since when did that go wrong?’ Hahaha.
4. Say, why is that place where everyone is super chill and happy, where fish are constantly being caught, people respect each other, and things are said like ‘it’s just like I’m on vacation’ actually called Devil's Island? Can I book a ticket?
5. Those deer jumps from Hugo during the domino test are next level. In your worst nightmare, that jumps up your stairs at night, right? HAHAHA.
6. Okay, I would totally curse everyone out if a block of two hundred kilos was chilling on my foot. Dominant this man? No way. They call someone like that very driven.
7. We also need to talk about Kim, the only woman who continuously manages to maintain a fabulous hairstyle on that island. Mrs. Kötter is a kind of Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones, for the losers who don’t get this) of the Philippines with those braids.
8. Aiii, this is painful. Camp North wins again for the third time. And those teammates Tim Coronel just keep bashing him and I’m also thinking: come on, hurry up with your ass, we’re in a competition here, but your hurry-up-slowly tactic does work. Something about quality over quantity. Akwasi: ‘How ugly is this? How?‘ Honestly doing it with Camp South.
9. What is that ‘West Coast hip hop I got fiiiiive on it’ music all of a sudden? Hahaha.
10. Sorry, but how CUTE is Berdien? ‘Chapeau for Eva! Grandiosely played!’ What a girl. Is there already a fangirl club? I want to join.
11. By the way, she belongs to the category of people who seem to exaggerate standardly while making a normal sentence. I am really enormously grandiosely thankful for the fact that I got to participate in this. And I have gained such suuuuuch extraordinary experiences.
12. Meanwhile, Hugo is getting seriously screwed over. Say, Fien. Tactically all good and shit, but stroking the rooster against his mane, is that tactically smart of you right before the merging? I’m holding my heart for you, but I officially fear that there’s no long Expedition life ahead for you.
13. I don’t know what I find more unique: the third Island Council for one camp in eight days, Devil's Island feeling ‘amputated’ without Berdien, or Nicolette fishing names out of that urn without sweat stains + in a gigantic nice dress. OKAY NO WAIT THAT LAST ONE.
P.S.: More Ekspeditie Robinsunnn? Follow me on Insta at @kikiduren.
P.P.S.: Okay, breathe in breathe out, deadline met, we sing HOEMPA HOEMPA HOEMPA TETERETEEEE…
P.P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you broke down seeing Yvette's burns next week, OUCH. Djeeeeez, how painful.
