KIKI'S EXPEDITION ROBINSON CHATTERS

Birds flying hiiiiigh, you know how I feel… So much fun, but now it's time to stop the nonsense, it's time for conspiracies to the max. Mariana, my devilish spawn, are you reading along again? It's day eleven of the big survival game and as far as it's clear, it's war fries in Camp South. Fien, Akwasi, and Yvette have been in the minority since the redistribution. They must win the trial, otherwise, they will face Tim, Kim, Kalvijn, and Mariana's alliance in the Island Council. Or they bring in the Trojan horse for that decisive vote. Right? You get it: it's time to babble. And very quickly.

1. Are you in a hurry and have no time for this whole crappy article, here are the highlights. We can come to a number of conclusions this week.

• We are dealing with a serious Rijk fan club.
• We finally know that the abbreviation NSB stands for ‘Not Staying Together’ or in very filet-American ‘Not So Bondje’, led by Mrs. Verkerk.
• Kim and Rijk are going to have sex on Devil's Island next week.

2. HOLY CRAB. That crab trap from Eva! Eat your heart out, Hugo, you're getting competition, sweetheart. Oh no, wait, he's adding a little extra. ‘I made a bisque from two and a half.’ – said no one ever at Robinson. No one, except the chef cook.

3. Can the national Pfeiffer/Depression bond approach Rijk for a collaboration? I foresee a match. Ah gus.

4. Frank, you are a ballerina.

Frank, you are a ballerina.

Frank, you are a ballerina.

Frank, your only goal is a trial.

Frank, you are Pippi Longstocking.
Frank, from now on you are done with the program.

Fuck. Someone is hypnotizing Frank.

5. Oh, And can someone please tell me why Nico has to stand so wide-legged during that ‘we can give away a trip worth ten thousand euros’ ad?

6. Goddammit, is it that time of the month again? Screaming hormones, Kiekster? Talking to yourself and all, right? When they started playing that ‘Lonely… I'm mister lonely… I have nobodyyyy…’ tune, I almost cried.

7. Just a serious shoutout to the people who fixed the music this week because I felt it.

8. Omg. Rijk. That. Mango. Eat. = My. Heart. Breaks. ‘Oh shiiiit… How chill’. CAN I PLEASE GO TO DEVIL'S ISLAND TO CUDDLE WITH RIJK? Awesome. I'm packing my suitcase right away.

9. Okay, that neck-and-neck situation during the trial was heavy, as evidenced by the three-quarters cheese platter and half a bag of truffle spice nuts in my stomach. #WhereMyEmoEatersAt

10. The mission Get-Mariana-to-the-other-side is currently in full swing at Camp South. That Yvette is also a little slippery, huh, hahaha.

11. ‘I think we have more to gain from strong Fien in trials than from handsome Kim.’ Gotta love Akwasi.

12. Nice tropical Danny flower, Kajtje. Is it a hint to Nicolette, right? Look now, Nico. Look then. Prints. This. Is. How. You. Cover. Sweat stains. Next. Level.

13. And yes, the Trojan horse is going to rear up. The Mole has flown all the way from the concrete jungle where dreams are made of… This is… the one and onlyyyy… Marianaaaaaaa. Yes, you can say what you want about this woman, but FINALLY there is commotion and I like it. I can feel Mariana's awkwardness from the couch, how painful this is. Balls to betray your own alliance. Little rat that you walk around, HAHA. Well played.

14. Kim: ‘I'm looking my ooooog's out. I think it looks – horse laugh in between – beautiful. I just find it very sad that we have to say goodbye to one of these fantastic team members soon.’

15. Eh, Kim. Hold that thought, from now on it gets even Kötter.

16. Last little thing. Very happy that Kimmie is going to accompany our Rijkje, but that whole Devil's Island, huh. Why didn't Jaap, Berdien, and Anita get that chance actually? Naaaa.

17. Just a few tweets from this week then?

– “With every episode of Expedition, I realize how wonderful it is that there is no censorship on Dutch television. You can say ‘cunt’ and ‘balls’ and ‘Frank, you are a ballerina’, and NO ONE stops you.’

– ‘Wanting to vote for someone because you can spell their name, handy @TimCoronel #expeditierobinson’

– ‘Rijk addressing loneliness in the society we live in touches me on another level, man.’

– ‘Kim brushes off that Mariana is playing a dirty game, but has kept her extra votes herself, while they had agreed to each use an extra vote. Then you're kind of asking for it, Kim.’

– ‘A #expeditierobinson in a non-tropical location seems to me beautiful in terms of nice pictures and new hardships. Norway. Alaska. Iceland. Scottish Highlands.’

– ‘What a top reaction from Kim, super nice for her that she gets to stay. She enjoys it from her toes.’

– ‘And the 79th vote… #ExpeditieRobinson’

P.S.: Follow me on Instagram via @kikiduren for more Robinson-derrie. And check out 5 Uur Live tonight at 5 PM where Daphne Bunskoek, Hugo, and I will discuss this week's episode in detail. OH AND ROY DONDERS IS COMING. PARTY. BAKING SAUSAGE ROLLS. EVERYTHING!

P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you secretly also broke down over Mariana's snitch action that used the stay-straight-ahead-then-they-won't-catch-you tactic during the campfire, HAHAHA.