Kiki's Temptation Island gibberish

All STDs on a stick. I don't know about you, but I'm really getting into it in episode 5 for the first time. Yes, it's still a bit boring, but you know that the shit is about to hit the fan in a week or two. Never has zoning out felt so good. And does Rick just have a pure white, spotless, not-sweaty T-shirt on? HATS OFF to this man.

The first campfire images from last week caused quite a stir. Despite the fact that nothing happened, but hey, let that be left to the folks in editing. Both in the men's and women's camp, the temptation is slowly being cranked up. Seriously, what was this Easter egg porn with those bunny suits? ‘Happy Hunting’. My god. It can't get any worse. About Hugh Hefner scenes, the public irritation surrounding snore couple Laura and Roger, and well, the phenomenon Ayleen... Oh dear, time to babble. Let’s gooo.

1. About the sultry seductress trying to get her boyfriend to cheat...
‘She's definitely not an ugly girl. I just really hope they can get along well together. And have a lot of fun.’
Said nobody ever.

Except Laura.

I think Laura is a lesbian.
I think I understand Laura.

2. Every time Roger says ‘sleep well’ at 8:32 PM, I feel a sort of instant aggressive attack coming up. And that dry stick of a Morgan needs to act normal for once.

3. That voice of Ayleen. Can you imagine having a one-night stand, waking up completely wrecked in a student house, and that's the first thing you hear? The horror.

4. HAHAHA ROGER WITH THAT SUPER SOAKER. SWEEP. ME. UP. Never seen such painful television. Meanwhile, Heikki is on fire: ‘I just try to spray them right in their faces. I always try, so yeah.’

5. Seriously, has the casting director who decided that Roger and Laura could participate this year already been fired?

6. Ah Gus, no matter how hard Giorgio tries, Laura doesn't flinch.
Giorgio: ‘How romantic!’

Laura: ‘I would like to do this with Roger...’
Laura: ... *Yawn*
JESUS LAURA. ACT NORMAL WITH THAT YAWNING ALL THE TIME.
Laura: ‘Sorry, it's not you...’
Giorgio on camera: ‘She's really difficult, huh.’

7. Meanwhile, in the tile wisdom factory of Ayleen's mind:
‘If the penis is big enough, then it's really fun to suck. A lot fits in dawiljijnieweeee’enjong’nnnn.’
BRRRR.

8. It's funny that the two Dutch and the two Flemish boys usually become buddies, but this year it's totally the opposite: the gapers and the night owls. Anyway: I'm Team Heikki and Sidney.

9. Yikes. If your date turns into Satan within two minutes...
‘Hehe, I can't paddle...

Ouch! My leg.

GET LOST.

FUCK YOU.

GO TO THE SIDE.
I NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

I NEED TO VOMIT.’
Gotta love Rodanya the drama queen.

10. Look, Danacio doesn't waste any time. He just thinks all those chicks going to sleep takes too long. Fuck it, he wakes them up with veeeeeery sincere compliments. ‘Milou. You have such a lovely figure. You have such lovely breasts. I'm so attracted to you.’ The worst? She bites. She giggles. Oh boy. This is going to be campfire time for Heikki.

P.S.: Do we remember chirping Megan? Suddenly seems very articulate and understandable compared to Ayleen.

P.P.S.: Uh oh, in the category of painful situations for next week, I already nominate this quote from Sidney: ‘What is that Congolese suddenly getting involved for?’

P.P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you also want action this season. Jeez. Roger and Laura are yawning, but we at home on the couch are too. WE WANT MISERY. IT TAKES LONG.