Kiki’s Temptation Island Brabbels

Godnondevuurwerkknetter. Just imagine this: ten days ago you went to Thailand with your sweetheart for an exciting TV adventure. And now? Now you see him on an iPad screen sticking his tongue in someone else. Or worse: you hear the characteristic body-to-body slapping which can only mean one thing: your relationship is ruined. Your heart is in twenty pieces, convulsing on the ground. What do you do then? Well. Pain on Temptation Island can easily be softened: bitter sweet revenge it is. The possibilities have never been so ripe for the picking. Time to talk it over, man, whoeeeiii.

1. First of all: I'm going to start a Shirley fan club. I really think that girl and pretty much everything she says is just the shit.

2. Fabrizio looks like a kind of jealous teenager on that balcony, man. ‘Dietweegaansmeruuhg batsen, joh. Just look. There. They. Are going to bat. Gross.’

3. Tweet to think about: ‘Every time Yolanthe and Kay come by, the participants are surprised but they are already ’coincidentally’ sitting with four somewhere without seducers?’ Hmmmm. Could this program be staged? Would you think?

4. Thomas. This. Is. Not. Going. To. Happen. You. Are. Not. Doing. It. Mister. Wait... Just. Aaaaaah, shower slapping. Game over. Ball sack emptied. Poor Yasmin.

5. And despite the fact that Thomas’ dick has gone off the rails, there is actually only one guy who makes the whole thing look like a whorehouse. And that's Hugh Hefner a.k.a. Orpheo. ‘How's it going with the temptation and the ladies? Oh, yes, they are swapping each other's shifts. The ladies are very collegial towards each other. I appreciate that. So there you go.’

6. If Shirley is your spirit animal part 267: ‘Exercising? I really find that muscle pain afterwards disgusting. THEN JUST FAT.’

7. By the way, that finger paint date sounds really delightful. I would totally roll up like a rainbow Bifi sausage.

8. ‘Since the beginning of my relationship with him, I've been asking if I can go to the Apenheul. Well, I haven't seen a monkey yet.’

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry. I really got stuck on this one.

Out loud in my living room.

That reaction from Yolanthe is just, Wipe. Me. Off.

9. At the beginning of this season, I had a lot of hopes and expectations, but that of all people Yasmin would bring the hashtag #ZUREKUT to life is quite the cherry on the cake.

10. When Mitch expresses what we all actually think. Liessinde actually came to Tempah as a counterpart to Pommeline. ‘What struck me was an emotional Liessinde. I didn't expect that. I think she didn't even expect that herself. I doubt she knew she could cry.’

11. Thomas: ‘Yeah, no, I actually want to keep the honor to myself as far as that still can.’ That ship has sailed, buddy. It’s looong gone! Hahaha. ‘Yesterday we had sex, but tonight I don't want that.’
Thomas two minutes later...
He’s just the gift that keeps on giving.

P.S..: Wooooooow, Damian is going LOCO next week and pulling a Rosannaatje – remember the plant pot and billiard ball action? Well, that. Only with a punching bag. You want to see.

P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you participate in the fundraising for Shirley. Text ‘APENHEUL AAN’ to 3030. Shir, darling, I'm making this possible for you. It's going to be fine.

P.P.P.S Check my Insta Stories at @kikiduren if you want to reminisce about that Apenheul and follow for more dirt and TV misery.

Until next week disaster tourists joeejoeeee!