Kiki's Temptation Island Chatter: episode 14
Hey troublemakers. I have good and bad news. The good news is: I invited Damian for an interview in bed and here is this I-almost-peed-in-my-pants video. The bad? The end of our Thai vacation is near. For almost three months, we've been chatting every Friday morning about all the ins & outs of Temptation Naailand and suddenly I realize: shit is almost over. The couples spent the night during the dream date with their biggest temptation and are getting ready to reunite with their partner. Oh and that last campfire? Let’s call it a tropical nightmare. By now, three out of four relationships are in shambles.
You understand: we need to chat for a bit. For the second-to-last time. Buckle up, here we go.
1. And in the category of good conversations that we are actually going to miss:
Angie with her typical Angie accent: ‘If I were your girlfriend, I would think you watch too much.’
Orpheo: ‘Watching is the only luxury I have left.’
Angie: ‘…’
Orpheo: ‘You can get hungry on the street, but at home, you have to eat.’
FIRST STOP AT MCDRIVE AND THEN GRAB A BURGER KING TO END UP AT KENTUCKY, YOU KNOW. TOP IT OFF WITH MCFLURRY OREO.
2. They have a T-shirt of each other. Oooooomg. ‘If he don’t stick to the plan, he ain’t my man.’ Let’s forget the painful spelling mistake, THEY HAVE A T-SHIRT OF EACH OTHER.
3. So I kept waiting and waiting and waiting for someone to drop it this season, but now at the very last campfire, we are still treated to the classic Tempah dessert by Liessinde. ‘I really find this disrespectful.‘ Maybe she means disrespect. Disonrespectful. Respectdisrespectful.
4. I can hardly stand Liessinde's mood when Orphie asks: ‘What did you see?’ She goes from a fierce I’m gonna kill you mothafokaaa, to a fragile: ‘That you say she’s a hot bitch’ to: ‘I actually don’t really know what I think’ to: ‘What do you actually think I should think?’ to: ‘Kiss it? I’m wearing our T-shirt.’
5. Fabrizio: Khebhaahvoohvanzaaalfspreeekhendbeschâââuwd. Wilt ge nog altijd met me trouwaa?
Fabri. We. Are. So. Happy. If. You. Just. Well. Don’t. Talk. Anymore.
6. I also don’t know what’s more intense in the confrontation between Yas and Tho: her Conchita Wurst glitter suit, his Bambi in headlights face, or the bar of soap that suddenly becomes part of a master diss that turns out to be incorrect. Guys, this is not going well. This whole season is getting out of hand.
7. ‘It feels a bit like the last level of Mario. At first, I came here to get a princess, now it feels like I have to fight a bouncer.’ HAHAHAHAH. I already loved Damian, but this is really next level nice.
8. Oh my lord. Not so Buffel. Wait a minute, Shirley and Damian, this is not going well. Shirley: ‘The only thing I see is him shoving his head into someone else's womb. Crazy.’
Okay, up to this point it was still funny.
‘I always say this, right? He makes up his whole life. You would seek help, right? Well, I don’t know how many times you’ve gone, but it’s not really progressing, is it?’
Okay, now I’m feeling a bit awkward.
‘You better hurry up and book double sessions because you’re completely crazy.’
Okay, now I feel like part of something private. Can someone protect these people from themselves?
9. Okay, there’s not much time left for sympathy and vicarious embarrassment, because Shirley HAHAHAHA is taking off her shoes. Oh help, I can’t take it anymore.
Dear creators, thanks for 15 episodes of brainless fun. Next week we’ll wrap it up grandly with the back in Holanda episode, amaiiii, can’t wait.
P.S.: Best tweet of the week: ‘I’m cracking up. The reason Damian put that sign with Ban Suriya right next to his room was because he thought it meant ‘do not disturb‘, but that was just the name of the villa HAHAH.’
P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you suddenly have an error in your head because you don’t know if you’re team Damian or Shirley now that all these mental health issues are being brought up. UGH.
P.P.P.S.: Want to laugh a little more? Check my Stories on @kikiduren. See ya next week, joejoeee!
