Kiki's Temptation Island gibberish

Hi cuties. Ready for a round of Friday morning riots? Ready to shamelessly discuss cringeworthy television? You know, I’m always in for some drama… A bit of a shame about the season though, because I can tell you: this week we won’t be rewarded with a solid round of rabbits again. The couples are well past the halfway point of their ‘vacation’ (read: kamikaze action), so normally you’d know: now the shit hits the fan. These are the episodes that will count. But the only thing I thought when I saw this episode? Oh my god, that new seducer has been waiting like a horse in the hallway for Laura for three years, then wants to kiss at the meeting and lady ice rabbit recoils and gives him a… HAND?! HAHAAAA. ‘O Laaaaaaaura, a life full of sorrow, all her friends partying outside, but for Laura… that doesn’t apply.‘ Where did they cast these people?

Well then, shall we continue? That’s what I thought. Everything we thought in 10

points. Here it comes.

1. So wait a minute, Rodanya records an encouragement message for Morgan because he needs to face the ‘temptation more’, but then someone is sitting behind him on the jet ski and she flips out? Hypocrite much?

2. Uh oh, Sidney calls himself ‘the breadwinner’ in a drunken state and Demi is not amused…

3. I would absolutely not be Temptation material. The first thing I would do during that campfire is set Annelien's extensions on fire with that torch when I hear her speaking with a Flemish accent. ‘Yeah, but that other Demi really seems to be his sounding board, right? She is really his confidante…’ Grrrrrrr.

4. By the way, Morgan is really the only one who is not impressed by the stirring of the presenters: ‘Of course she feels a bit looser without me. If she can handle him well, I’m happy for her, period.’ And suddenly I think: yes. You go, Morgan.

5. Dying from the dryness of this.

Sidney: ‘Yeah no, really girl, I’m telling you. I can just eat very loudly…’

Rick: ‘We’re drifting a bit off, shall we just go to your campfire footage?’

6. Milou: ‘I’m having a harder time.’

Jietske: ‘I don’t think so.’

Milou: ‘I do think so.’

AND THEN THAT WHOLE SAD LITTLE SIPLIP OF HEIKKIE AAAH.

Heikki: ‘I almost fainted, you know. I could barely see straight.’

Genuine pity for this man.

7. Ah gosh, my boy Sid also feels sorry for Heik and immediately takes the opportunity to bromance. ‘Are you sleeping at my place or do I have to sleep at yours? Or do you want to sleep alone?’ This dude, hahaha.

8. In the category of recognizable tweets of the week, I present to you:

– ‘The craziest thing about this episode was that Roger stayed awake.’
– ‘Can we finally see tears tonight? Or sex? Something?’

– ‘Laura is the type of girl who reminds the teacher that homework had to be done.’

– ‘Rick: We’re really doing everything we can to make something of this season, that’s why we’re now showing a video message from your partner. We don’t know anything anymore either!’

– ‘Hahahahaha Laura wtf girl, is Milou your temptation or something????’

– ‘#TEMPTATIONISLAND SPOILER!!! THIS WEEK NOTHING HAPPENS AGAIN!!!’

9. Was that campfire 3? Meine gute. I’m afraid I won’t hold out for the first time this year, jogens. I suddenly think of Niels: ‘My relationship is overrrrrr’, Rosanna almost falling on her face, throwing billiard balls. And that plant pot that she, no matter how aggressive she was, couldn’t get moving. Those were the days.

10. You know you’ve really landed in the depths of ordinary television when you hear lines like ‘I paid for my own nose! I don’t know!’.

P.S.: Hey, but wait a minute. Does Roger say next week: ‘Laura is not my Temptation in terms of appearance?’ Or am I misunderstanding? Is it going to happen after all? Is Roger going to go for the axe in la grande finale? God, I hope so.

Alright. Let’s wrap it up. Perhaps more juicy stuff next week. And, heart at the bottom if you’re also ready for a new rap from Sidney!