Kiki's Temptation Island VIP ramblings
HI, THERE'S THE LOST CHILD AGAIN. Okay, to be honest: I was a bit ramble-tired. You see, I've been writing weekly for almost three years about all the sense and nonsense of our favorite shows, and I couldn't even watch TV without going into some sort of ‘work mode’. Very annoying. So there was a little break for a moment. I could just lean back and enjoy Temptation and have all sorts of opinions about it and just discuss it with friends just like normal people do.
But then you were there. The ramble army. With messages. With requests. ‘LOOK, COME ON HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?!’ And yes, I saw it all and had to bite my tongue not to say anything. Cause once you are a rambler, it’s very hard to keep your brain farts to yourself, you know. Anyway: that things aren’t going well over there in those villas is clear. It’s raining drama, tears, and lustful pangs in the stomach in Thailand. And the arrival of new seducers also causes, uh, quite rebellious behavior.
Shall we continue? In 11 points what I thought when I checked Tempah Vippies episode 6. Hold on, ‘cause shit’s about to go down.
1. Was I the only one who got a slight shiver when Damian talked about his ‘Algerian pole’? I don't know, I just suddenly see a very large throbbing scary thing in front of me that you have to run away from as fast as you can. Never. Look. Back.
2. Oh oh, Shirley, I feel for you, girl. I would find that breakfast in bed absolutely TERRIBLE. Seriously woken up by a totally uninteresting man with a disgusting greasy breakfast and a camera in your face zooming in on your sleep wrinkles. The horror. And seriously, cola, yeah? Wow.
3. Fitness guru Sam Hoogland is also in the house. A.k.a. Lord Buffel. Mozzarella.
4. ‘Whether I go wrong really depends on the other side of the villa.’ Quentin, boy, one moment I find you sweet, then again a little rascal. Then you say stupid things like this and then you cry again and I think again: gosh. Is it time to admit that I find this man complicated?
5. Hmmm. What could you do to make a dominant woman like Danielle completely dry? Oh wait, let's call Thomas! ‘Yes, my little friend is starting to grow now. Pressure is building in certain places. Yes, my little spring roll has something to say about that.’ Uh, Daan? How are you? BAM. DRY. THANK YOU, THO!
6. So my girlfriend and I played the shot game ‘Drink when Pommeline cries’, but I had to pause after seventeen minutes because she had to puke.
7. Despite the fact that she is quite smooth, I can only look at those little stubbles on Julia's uh... Phew. Rarely beautiful ugly, such a tattoo. Surry.
8. Oh, and speaking of tattoos: what ridiculous images do they show Fabri during the campfire, I mean. Totally taken out of context. If anyone is loyal, it’s this girl. That girl cries all day because she misses him so much and then they show THIS? Really unfair.
9. If I ever have an insecure shitty day, I just pull the Quentin in the mirror. ‘You're not a pussy! Hmmm, look here. Everyone wants you, girl.’ Super good tactic. To then burst into tears on the bed.
10. Damian: ‘Still keep my dick in my pants, my tongue in my mouth. Then I think that's neat.’ I think so too, dude. Nice going.
11. HAHAHAHHA OMG THOMAS'S FACE WHEN QUENTIN ACCIDENTALLY HITS HIM OUT OF ANGER DURING THE CAMPFIRE. SWEEP. ME. UP.
P.S.: Speaking of the legendary panic slap: check my Insta Stories at @kikiduren.
P.P.S.: ‘I’d like to sit alone with you for a bit,’ comes out of Channah's mouth. Uh oh. The day you knew was coming. Baby news on its way. Am I the only one who finds it intensely sad that this couple is going to leave? Meh.
P.P.P.S.: Next week: all the chickens will be WET, WET, WET!! Sorry, Pom, I'm stealing your phrase. I have no idea what it means, but I think it's brilliant.
