Living in New York: Expectations vs. Reality

Living in New York has been my dream for years. But with dreams comes fantasizing. Many of my expectations about life in New York were based on previous trips to NYC, TV, and Instagram. Don't get me wrong, this city is my great love and I love living here, but there are definitely a few differences between the picture I had in my head and the life I lead now.

This is what I expected:

That I would lead a glamorous life

Rooftops, cocktails, and high heels: that's what I envisioned when I thought about my future life in New York. The reality: libraries, coffees, and sneakers. Because when you live somewhere, life is quite ordinary, even in New York. That means I just have to do the laundry (in the gross basement of my building), finish my work, scrub the toilet, and pay my bills on time.

That my apartment would look like in the series and movies

Sex and the City, Girl, Friends, Gossip Girl, You, and every movie set in New York have at least one thing in common: the apartments are all fantastic. Even if they are supposedly ‘shabby’. So I thought I could find a nice little apartment or cozy studio for myself. But after scrolling through ads for a few hours and regularly coming across headlines like ‘WITH WINDOW!!!’, I realized that I had once again been misled by a TV fantasy.

That my roommates would become my friends

Small disclaimer: a few months ago, my best friend moved in with me, so life is now a party. But with her predecessors, the conversation topics often remained limited to cleaning, rent, and weekend plans.

That I would cook at home every night

If I had to name one thing I found unrealistic about SATC, it was that Carrie used her kitchen as an extension of her wardrobe (okay, and that all that clothing, bought on a journalist's salary, was designer). That's not how I am, I thought. I love cooking. But cooking isn't the problem, the problem is grocery shopping. Prices are high and the quality of vegetables and fruits is poor (the raspberries cost $6 and the tomatoes taste like water). And so I often eat out. Just like Carrie.

That staying in America after university would be my choice

Staying here is not a matter of wanting, but of being able or allowed. Newsflash: the government here makes it very difficult for foreigners to get a visa.

That I would work at The New York Times after my master's in journalism

Yes, laugh all you want, but I really thought that. I wanted to switch directly to the NYT after NYU. That doesn't work. Something about extreme competition, few jobs, and visa issues. The reality is that it's hard to find work in journalism, especially for a foreigner.

That summer would be my favorite season

On Instagram, everyone looks so effortless and happy during the summer in New York, in reality, most people are covered in a layer of sweat and their eyes darting left and right looking for the nearest air-conditioned store. It's hot, it's humid, and on every street corner, there's a mountain of filled garbage bags stewing in the heat. Now, of course, there's a ton to do in the summer, so I'm having a good time, but going out feels a bit like a chore.

That I would work in cafes every day

I envisioned it completely: my laptop and me in cafes surrounded by cool New Yorkers. But with an average of $4 per coffee, that's just not feasible.

That I would have huge homesickness

Of course, I miss my dear family and friends, but I've never really had homesickness. I always find this hard to explain, but my life in the Netherlands and America feels like two different worlds. When I'm here, I live in my American world, and when I'm in the Netherlands, the switch flips immediately and I live in my Dutch world again.

That I would gain at least ten kilos

A ‘small’ here we would call a family portion in the Netherlands, there's sugar in practically everything, and the national dishes are hamburgers and hot dogs. Additionally, I use high gym prices as an excuse to leave my sport-hating body at home. Despite that, I've lost ten kilos since I moved here. How, you ask? That's a combination of stress, high food prices, and the fact that New York is a walking city. The subway is convenient, but I still walk an average of an hour a day, something that never happened in bike city Amsterdam.

That I would never use ‘like’ as a filler word

I, like, just can't help it.

Written by Anna van der Heijden

Image by Anthony-delanoix