Temptation Island babbles: episode 11
Oehoe! A very goooooood, sunny afternoon, disaster tourists. Almost weekend, hang in there. We need to talk again about the juiciest program of the year. Because what’s going on there, huh? Rodanya angry at Milou? Milou flirting with Morgan? Huh? Since when does it only get juicy after the recordings? And since when do the participants compete with each other instead of with the seducers? (Anyway, read this for a moment if you have no idea what I’m rambling about.)
Anyway: we are on day 11 of Temptation Island and Heikki is still sitting with his straw hat (just take that thing off, come on) on the chair of self-destruction sipping. Sidney is also his old-fashioned self including a few impressive pool throws, and I don’t know what Jietse has been doing, but the Milou card house has spontaneously collapsed. You understand: we need to babble about a few things.
1. First of all: the editing is on fire again this week. Applaudable. The images of Sidney’s horror windmill dream followed by the spooky image of a, well, horror windmill was really life.
2. Meanwhile, Heikki’s confession booth message goes through marrow and bone. ‘Hey… Milou… I hope you know who I am. What are you all doing? Are you in love? Have you forgotten me?’
3. Oh wait, it gets worse. Milou… ‘Stop it before it’s too late… Please…’ Oh god.
I have now reached the point where I really want to give the man a hug or a nest of fluffy baby kittens.
4. I seriously understand why they cast Sidney, with his rap frog skills and clear quotes. ‘It seems like a paradise where you can relax, but it’s a heavy mental rollercoaster here. It’s really a fight with yourself. With your heart. With your brain, with your feelings. With your breathing. It’s everything.’ Sid. We got your back.
5. ‘On Temptation Island, you really feel like you’re getting fifteen days of life imprisonment.’ Okay, no sorry, we lost you there.
6. Nobody knows what happened exactly, but between Milou and Jietse it’s not going well anymore. ‘After this date, I really think: no, this is really not going to work.‘ Uh. Maybe it’s just me, but did you think it would work out, darling?
7. Roger: ‘I thought for a moment that Hung could be a Temptation. But that turned out not to be the case because she is a real, real sweet girl. I do like girls who have a bit of atmosphere in them.’
MONTAGE. CUTS. SILENCE. LAURA. THAT. BAG. OF. CHIPS. EATS. CRYING. FROM. LAUGHING.
8. Okay, no, not cool. Stop it, Kiek. I just really feel sorry for Laura. She is really brainwashed. ‘Somewhere you do want your boyfriend to find you the most beautiful in terms of appearance, but in our relationship he finds me beautiful in terms of inner beauty, he explained to me. And I know that he also finds certain things about my appearance beautiful, so I’m happy with that.’ What the actual fak.
9. Then we reached the point where Sid had a total error because he was stepped on his dick. ‘Pfff. That Jaimy calls me ugly. Terrible. So full of himself. Really hard to watch. Jaimy calling me ugly? Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been cast for Temptation, right? Well. Jaimy, what are you supposed to say about that?’
10. Sidney at the end of the campfire. ‘Nothing bad, right? No stress? NO STRESS. NO STRESS, RICK, YOU HEAR ME? I AM NOT ANGRY AT ALL.’
11. Two seconds later, seven chairs fly into the pool again.
12. Still a bit of couple goals that Demi and Sidney toast to each other in the camera without knowing it.
13. Suddenly the biggest paradox ever: Heikki singing along with a big grin: ‘You’re such a fucking hoe, I love it!’, but then dying inside because Milou is twerking on a table.
P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you broke down and simultaneously had an error at the legendary line from Gaetan: ‘You have beautiful eyes, you are massively ugly, but you have a beautiful inner self, shall we have sex?’ HAHAHA.
P.P.S.: Oh and, also if you can’t WAIT until Demi (yeah sorry, you’re a disaster tourist or not) hears about Sid’s 76 women. My god. That’s going to be a fight.
