Ten unnecessary silly facts THAT YOU'RE GLAD YOU KNOW NOW

Fish can get seasick, cows moo with a regional accent, and walking sticks never have sex. Do with it what you want, but I enjoy it: tickling my brain with facts that are of no use. Today on offer: did-you-know facts about the animal kingdom. They do well at birthdays, you know. Here it comes.

1. Chimpanzees are – besides humans – the only animals that recognize themselves in a mirror. They also make funny faces. Cute, right.

2. Ants could theoretically survive in a microwave. No idea what you should do with that info, but here it is.

3. Going up the stairs with a cow? No problem at all. Going down the stairs... that doesn't work. Those knees can't handle it. Kind of sad.

4. Herring communicate with each other by farting. Especially at night, they communicate by pushing bubbles out of their anus. No, okayyyyyyyyy.

5. The loudest sound in the ocean is caused by... shrimp.

The sound is nothing more than popping bubbles, which they create when they snap their claws shut. According to witnesses, it sounds like everyone in the world is frying bacon at the same time.

6. A tiger gets scared if you look it straight in the eyes. They thrive on a ‘surprise attack’ and that's why they sneak up on their prey from behind. But what if the prey catches wind of the attack and sees the tiger? Then the beast loses its balance and interest and goes looking for another prey. Long story short: if you're also being attacked by a tiger, look the beast straight in the eyes.

7. Perhaps the biggest myth ever: ostriches do not bury their heads in the sand when in danger. Those animals are not crazy; they run away at seventy kilometers per hour, how do you like that.

8. Cats only meow at humans. They never do that among themselves – except for the mother to her young. They just want to get our attention and have noticed that meowing works. Those bastards.

9. The deception. A millipede has a maximum of four hundred legs.

10. When a frog vomits, it always vomits its own stomach. And worse: while that stomach is dangling out of its mouth, it ‘pushes’ the contents out with its legs. Yikes.