The 10 things you know when you get to know me better

Someone recently asked me if I find it scary to write. Especially for Amayzine, because on this website we literally bare our souls. Vulnerability is sometimes scary, yes, but it's honest. And I love honesty, even towards you. So here I am. In my string bikini on the beach, while my body is not ‘ready’ for it at all. Do I even care? Do you want to get to know me better? This is what you need to know.

1. I almost literally say everything I think

Very direct. Almost always. The feeling is stronger than I am. Which is sometimes really tough, because then I've already said something I regret but it's too late. Uh, shit.

2. I can really get into melancholic music

Close to depressing. Instrumental, sad, raw, beautiful. Hans Zimmer is the king and Enya the queen. I can enter a sort of hyperfocus when I listen to their music.

3. I can't drive normally

Sorry sorry sorry, driving instructor Martijn who thinks everything is fine with me: you lived in a lie. I am a life-threatening maniac. Who doesn't even dare to get in the car alone.

4. I kill tights

Everyone who wonders how I can go out in winter with bare legs: I don't. Sometimes I cut tights to three-quarters and turn them into ‘The Bike Pants’ and it looks extremely uncharming. But fuck it, it's warm.

5. I sing

Pretty loud sometimes. But only when I'm home alone. And no one will ever hear it because I have intense stage fright.

6. I have a faucet phobia

Let me explain. As a child, I once had a dream about a faucet that ‘lived’ and secretly moved when I wasn't looking. Creepy as fak. After that, the thing wanted to kill me. And since then I have faucet trauma. Especially if they have a long ‘trunk’. Very embarrassing, but oh so true.

7. I have a big mouth

But actually a very small heart. And there are three stuffed animals in my bed that I will never ever get rid of.

8. I have a tattoo

My then best friend and I decided it would be super badass to get a small heart tattooed near our thighs as a sign of our friendship. We were fourteen and smoked a joint beforehand (oh yes, I was a little rebel). Now, over twelve years later, I am stuck with that embarrassing little heart just above my, um, flamoes.

9. I get overstimulated quickly

And sometimes find it difficult to be social in groups. I prefer one-on-one, while I can find it very pleasant in a group. My inner extrovert and introvert clash every day and I hate it.

10. I can't handle cheese normally

Our relationship is disturbed. Close to obsessive. I could easily eat a chunk of moldy cheese straight from my hand. For breakfast. Yes, disgusting, I know.