The Orgasm dossier

Because you might have accidentally missed a magazine: this is one of our favorite articles that you want to dive into. Fire on, warm cocoa in a mug or a bubbly in the glass (that’s fine too) and just enjoy reading.

Cumming, the orgasm, a peak, the celebrated climax after a steamy session, which too often turns into an anticlimax for women... The orgasm gap is too large to easily strum over. These are the facts, the fables, and the stories.

Done with the orgasm gap

To get straight to the point: research has shown that men orgasm three times as often during sex as women. I'm not talking about solo sex, I'm talking about the times you're naked with a man having fun. You could also see it this way: during one in three sexual encounters, the woman does not orgasm while the man does. Excuse me? Don't we deserve just as many orgasms? Don't we have just as much right to relaxation, improved circulation, and nicer skin? I thought so.

We can now blame the man, but let's first take a look in the mirror. We have spoiled men far too much until now. Don't we constantly conform to what we think a man finds sexy? Just look at fashion magazines. Models often look quite silly. Very young, mouth half open, visible nipples, a hazy look, you know the type. These women primarily radiate: I'm just eighteen (but maybe not), always horny, and you can do anything with me. A flower that must be taken hard by a man, pardon, picked. We buy these magazines, try to become like these models, and fill our Instagram with them. With this, we indirectly tell men: we do everything to make you find us fuckable. Excuse me, girlfriends, what's wrong with a role model like Michelle Obama?

Fake it till you make it

Then there's another sensitive point that gives men the idea that it doesn't matter much whether they do a good job. Honestly, how many times have you faked an orgasm? I must confess that I've done that in (almost) all my one-night stands. Why? Because you quickly realize that it's not going to happen, and you don't want to come across as a frigid bitch. Or the man has been at it for a while and you're afraid he's going to suffocate under the covers. Or you're too nervous and want to pretend you're very confident and horny. Or you feel sorry for him that he apparently doesn't understand how the female genitalia works. All nice and well, but we aren't teaching men any better sex skills with this.

Additionally, men have been spoiled by porn films where women orgasm screaming within minutes when they are double penetrated without any form of foreplay. I dare say that men have only gotten worse in bed since the internet came along. They think we all find it hot when they hit us on our punani or choke us because they've seen that on YouPorn.

In short, men have learned a whole lot of wrong things:

1. That sex revolves around them

2. That we think so too

3. That we can effortlessly orgasm regardless of their effort

Fortunately, times have changed. Now that we are economically equal to men, we are also starting to understand that we should be equal in bed. For the first time in years, Victoria's Secret's sales have declined because women no longer identify with kiss-blowing little girls. And since #metoo, men have finally realized that we don't automatically find everything hot. We have the right to sex as we also enjoy it, with the corresponding orgasm. Let's talk about how to achieve that now.

And Doneee

The way men and women experience sex differs a bit. For men, it is (and this also maintains the orgasm gap) somewhat easier. They can finish inside us at their own pace. In contrast, only 15 to 25% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. Statistically, we already have a significant disadvantage. But this is not the only thing putting us at a disadvantage. A man is a high-speed train and a woman is a diesel. According to sex researchers Masters & Johnson, a man takes an average of 7 to 14 minutes to go from 0 to 100, while a woman takes 10 to 20 minutes. So we need both more time and more help. How are we going to solve this?

Young entrepreneur and very woman-friendly man Benji Beesemer (unfortunately already taken, but if he ever becomes single again, I'll let you know right away) has always had a fascination for sex. He often heard men around him speaking condescendingly about female sexuality. The idea is that women give something and men receive something. Benji (God bless him) decided it was time for women to also receive more, in the form of overwhelming orgasms – in plural. He started a company selling woman-friendly sex toys that you can use alone, but also during the act. On pluralpleasure.com, you can find well-priced, body-safe toys that also look good. Dealing with a man who isn't doing much? Boom, you grab the OKU pink and doneee. The only downside is that the man still doesn't learn much from it (except that he understands that you want to enjoy it too and that he has played a limited role in that until now).