This is the absolute worst that can happen when you order an Uber

It's just before nine and I'm rushing out the door. Laptop with me? Yes. Bag with me? Yes. Laptop safely in that bag? Check. Make-up on? Almost. Keys, where are my keys?

Haste is quite normal in the early morning. Imagine if I got up ten minutes earlier. Halfway through breakfast, I lock the door, hair still wet from washing, where is my hair tie? Due to my now quite prominent pregnant belly, I can no longer bike a long distance, so I take an Uber to work. It can't be helped: I can't drive my own car today. I get a message: ‘Your driver is here.’ Great. I turn the key in the lock, slap on some lip stuff, realize my hair tie is on my nightstand, and look. Right in front of the door is a big car with a man in it. Great. Let’s go. I wave, the man waves back.

I quickly peek inside and yes, he has a gigantic navigation system by his dashboard. With a mobile phone too, like all those Ubers have. I swing the front door open and sit next to him. With bag, make-up, pregnant belly. ‘Hi, good morning,‘ I say cheerfully. He looks at me and smiles a little. Cautiously he starts. ’What are you doing?‘ I say: ‘Well, I need to go to work. ’Me too,‘ he replies. He is still laughing. Louder and louder. Very slowly, something starts to dawn on me. Very slowly. Oh my god.

This is a complete stranger. Not an Uber. And I just sat down next to him. ‘I, uh, thought, aren't you an Uber?‘ I ask, while I suddenly already know the answer. I'm breaking out in a sweat. The man is laughing hysterically and says ’no‘. It's just some unknown neighbor who wants to go to work and is dutifully setting his navigation. And I just got in. Luckily he’s laughing – and so am I. But I also don’t know how quickly I need to get out. Goodness gracious, here we go again. I also took an Uber by myself this time. I never pay attention to license plates, no. And he misled me because he waved back.

Thank goodness my real driver is waiting across the street. I quickly get in and tell him the whole story. He’s also doubled over with laughter. So am I, it is a bit funny. But I really, really hope that neighbor saw me get into the right Uber in his rearview mirror, so he knows for sure that I’m not completely crazy and getting into random cars... So that he sees that I was really waiting for an Uber. And let’s hope he doesn't live two houses next to me. I can never, ever, pick up a package there, right? No. Then he can keep it.