Why we always have a crush on bartenders

I have a chronic weakness for bartenders. Always had it: from the moment I stood in the pub at 15 (and oh, how cool I felt) and ordered a beer. And I felt even cooler when they didn't ask for my ID, of course. But yes, even then I mainly had eyes for the bartenders instead of the men who stood on the ‘good’ side of the bar. Back then, I naively believed that they really meant what they said to me, because yes, of course I was special, the only one and the most fun. Yes, exactly, yes... I've lost that naivety – better that way, but I just can't shake off that weakness for bartenders.

Fortunately, I'm not the only one with this weakness. Many of my girlfriends suffer from it too, and my male friends often find the bar staff attractive as well. Currently, my friend Bas has introduced a new local pub. That's all good, of course, but his reason for this place is: he likes the barmaid. I can totally understand that, so we wingmen are collectively supporting him.

But why is it that bar staff is so attractive to everyone? Research has long shown that we as humans often feel attracted to people with authority. But that can also be a teacher or your boss. Those are also cliché stories of crushes, so there could be a kernel of truth in that, although I don't know if a bartender really exudes that much authority. But a bartender who is also a manager... Yes, there is definitely something to that.

I think what it's really about for me is the fact that such a handsome, smooth bartender can really make you feel special. That he listens to you. That this is absolutely not the case in about 90% of the cases, we just accept. And in the meantime, you see enough others from the corner of your eye who are also after that same bartender/woman, which only makes me more motivated to want to be the most fun. A kind of proof urge then rises in me. Hold on a second, bartender, stay here. With your favorite guest at the bar. Let those others sit.

In the meantime, I ask an old flame, who is a bartender, what exactly that attraction was. According to him, the most important factor is really the alcohol that you drink with it. Well, he might have a good point there. Those bartenders I tried to flirt with certainly poured my drinks well.

Conclusion: I don't have a weakness for bartenders, but for alcohol. I'm over that too.