Why WhatsApp is about to become life-threatening

Yes, the one person in that group app was overactive and irritating anyway. So another group app was created, minus that one person. Very mean, but it happens. In that new group was written ‘Pfff, finally peace and quiet, no more cackling from X for a while’. And then it was sent. Accidentally, in that wrong app that is. And that was the end of years of friendship.

It is by far our favourite app. Over 12 million Dutch people have the green icon on their phones. Twelve. We can't do anything without it, chatting away all day long, send cat videos, voice memos, declarations of love and, above all, a whole lot of bullshit. And of course, they are not crazy at Whatsapp and are constantly looking at how the app could be improved. So in 2019, there are some major updates planned that I want to take a moment to discuss with you.

1. There will be a WhatsApp Dark Mode

Are you also the type of person who often lies in bed and apps? And then often put your brightness on low because the screen hurts your eyes? Ha, soon you won't have to. The special Dark Mode feature makes your whatsapp screen look calm and dark, allowing you to do your thing without any problems. Pretty nice if I say so myself.

2. The voice memo terror is resolved

Are you hankering against a giant storm of voice messages from an overenthusiastic friend? And don't feel like clicking on them one by one? Then get happy. Whatsapp is working on an update that will automatically play everything in sequence in the right order.

3. About those blue tick marks

So they are looking into adding a feature where you can sneakily read your messages without others seeing blue ticks. But your blue tick function is on. Snappie it right?

4. And now comes the worst...

It will be possible to send a private message to someone in a group app send. For the next level daredevils yes. Hold that thought. Why would you want to do that? Can really only be done if you want to gossip about something someone said in that app? And so then you start talking IN that same group to one other person. How many times will this go wrong? That you think you accidentally tap something to one person, but it still ends up in the ‘Big’ group app. How many groups of friends will perish? Man man. Whatsapp, this is going to be a batch of dangerous, mark my words....