Women with children are happier, but especially when they are out of the house

Nice, isn't it, that I belong to the prestigious club of mothers, but yes, I am so tired that I dream at night that I am sleeping. Do you get it?

That's why I sometimes think: are women happier if they have children or not? Well, it turns out you are happier if you have children. But there is a small catch under the domestic grass. You are happier as a mother, but especially when your children have moved out. Only then are you happier than people without children, according to researchers. This is because you then have your peace back, can lead your own life again without distractions – but still have the benefits of being a mother. Because children do give you a larger social life, more support, love and attention. You feel less alone and more appreciated: it gives you a sense of purpose in life.

The study involved 55,000 people over the age of 50 with and without children. The differences? Parents are less likely to suffer from depression than people without children. They also scored higher on the pillars of ‘feeling happy’. This is mainly because now that they are parents, they feel they are getting something back from their children. Not just love and attention, but often also financial support or informal care.

So: for everyone who is very tired. Very tired. For everyone with spit on their sleeve, drool on their neck, and a fruit snack on that white trendy chair. For everyone who has to sit in playgrounds when it rains, for everyone who goes to swimming lessons, for everyone who goes to the soccer field at eight o'clock on Saturday morning. For everyone who helps with math homework, for everyone who lies awake when the teenagers go out, for everyone who never has time for their own passions and hobbies and friends: it will be okay. Someday. It might take a while. But then, you will be happier than happy with all those little rascals.