10 unnecessary ridiculous facts

I am blessed with the gift of having to look up uncomfortable things that I actually don't want to know. No, I don't need to see videos of that squirrel species with that gigantic scrotum doing all sorts of weird things. But still, I want to know... So you think you're kinky? Ha. Watch and learn, my friend.

1. Walking sticks sometimes have sex for up to ten (!) weeks with each other. Non-stop! The male literally clings to the female to prevent other males from doing their thing while he regularly penetrates her. Sounds überromantic.

2. Other species of walking sticks don't need a male at all. They just clone themselves. Handy, right?.

3. And in the category of sluts: there are so many koalas suffering from a variant of chlamydia that it poses a serious threat to the survival of the species.

4. Okay, spiders definitely have a freaky sex life, but the spider species ‘Araneus pallidus’ takes the cake. During sex, the death of the male is a fixed part of the game. During the fireworks, the male's abdomen is right near the female's toxic jaws. Then she bites him to death and starts eating him while sex is still going on. Whoa, that's a real shock to the system.

5. Clownfish (hello Nemos) live in groups, but there is only one female. She only mates with the dominant male. And bizarre but true: if the female dies, that dominant male transforms into a female and takes over reproduction. Whuuuut.

6. There is a certain species of octopus where females can secretly pretend to be males (they quickly change themselves into a ‘male color’) to protect themselves from unwanted attention. My god, what clever animals are all in this list.

7. With elephants, it's hard to determine the sex because females have an extremely long clitoris. This is also called the pseudopenis (I kid you not). The female elephant must first retract her pseudopenis before the male can even penetrate her – like turning a sock inside out.

8. Male water striders (you know, those mosquito-like creatures on the water) are also drastic when they don't get their way. The male water strider has developed a couple of antennae that he sticks in the female's eyes to prevent her from running away. What the hell are these rape practices, man?!

9. Cape ground squirrels are incredibly kinky and the males regularly give themselves blowjobs. Their business is also gigantic in relation to their size: more than forty percent of their entire body is, uh, scrotum. It would be comparable to a man with a penis of about 28 centimeters.

10. And finally: when female ferrets are in heat and are not mated, they die. That's just cruel.