20X WHAT I THOUGHT DURING THE THIRD WEEK OF LOVE ISLAND

Yeah, it was quite a week again at Love Island, I must say. Well, to be completely honest, I found it a bit dull. Because at some point, Feline's pouty lips become a bit too much, just like how often she randomly adds ‘you know?‘ or ’do you get it?‘ at the end of a sentence. And even though the production can edit it so cleverly that it really seems like Joan and Mert are in a crisis (they're not), this week was missing some juicy events. But don't worry, because next week that infamous Casa Amor  — which the participants know nothing about — and that will of course be one big drama. A kind of calm before the storm. But does that mean I haven't entertained myself with this daily? Of course not.

1. My God, that overly dramatic music. I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even maaaaatttuuuhuuuurr. Just a flashback to my thirteen-year-old self with heartbreak thinking the world was ending. Not much different from how seriously they take themselves here.

2. As if anyone was genuinely surprised that Kai and Josephine-Charlotte had to leave the villa? Even though Joan thinks it's ‘not normal’ and ‘really so sick’, we all found it quite normal and really very medium sick.

3. I thought I was playing it safe with ‘Raffie’, but the subtitles managed to make it even worse: ‘Raphi’ also made an appearance. How hard is it to stick to one spelling?

4. I now have the impression that the only purpose of Remco is to give the rest of the Islanders boxing lessons. Other than that, I really see him doing very little.

5. I bet Gianni would have preferred to participate in a comeback of Oh Oh Cherso? I really think he's the type for that. And then the Belgian version, of course. Amai Cherso. Something like that.

6. Okay, they really don't have internet there, do they? Or did Mattheüs seriously get the memo that his alpaca look was completely out of control? Very nice for him that he can actually see a bit through that curtain again, but I can never get this comparison out of my mind. Sorry.

7. ‘Not my type blood group’ will now be my standard line when I don't fancy someone, thanks to Mert. He comes across as so despacito but secretly has a lot of good lines.

8. And if I do fancy someone, it's Blood Group S. ‘Special’.

9. ‘Yoram chooses the parrot lady with the tarot cards.’ I couldn't have described it better myself. The voice-over is already getting so many points this year.

10. That Merel (speaking of a lightning visit, almost faster than Aleksandra. Who? Yes, exactly) gives that hide-away to Raffie out of pure fear. I can understand that to some extent, because he would spend the remaining four weeks crying. Although, will it be different now?

11. Have we landed in Love Island: The Musical Edition or something? Why does there have to be rapping? No one, but really NO ONE, asks for this. I’m a savage, got my flex and we sippin’ till we damage? What are you even saying?

12. Oh God, there’s definitely a collab coming between Giulliano and Filip. The new Toppertje. Giulliano and Tropical Filip. Coming soon on Oranje TV.

13. Sander Lantinga as the voice-over, OF COURSE that was a brilliant idea. ‘In random order: Joan, Imen, Lisa, Eillish, crying girl, Charlotte and Felineeee.’ HAHA.

14. But seriously, I think Raffie needs to be forcibly removed from that wedding dress. He would rather chain Mattheüs up yesterday than today. Mattheüs, shall we agree that you should wear a red swimsuit if you need help? #freemattheüs

15. Can Imen say anything other than ‘Oh my God’ or is this just as far as her vocabulary goes?

16. Nooooo, Joan. What. Are. You. Doing? Don’t make your blood group buddy cry. Make it right. NOW.

17. ‘Do you know how far the sun is from the earth?’
‘No...’
‘You really don't know that?’
‘…’
‘Really far, huh.’
So many. Brain cells. Lost. During. This. Conversation. ‘I'm really not that good at geography.’ Huh? How does this work?

18. Filip is really that guy who 100 percent believes that the sun doesn't shine at night. Then it's off. Needs a little rest. And the moon? It only goes around once a month.

19. Yoram was a bit the Kai of this week. Did absolutely nothing, no one really fancied him and now he's being kicked out.

20. And Lisa has also had her time, right? She misses her parrot too. And if she really has feelings, she probably saw this exit coming in her tarot cards.

Because let's be honest: they are really not going to kick Filip and Charlotte out. Let's hope we get a bit less footage of men shaving their legs next week, that Joan doesn't make Mert cry again and that Filip doesn't try to impress anymore with his ‘knowledge’ about the universe, which apparently all falls under ‘geography’. No, it's completely clear to me: commaarropppp with that CASA AMOR.

Image: RTL