“A perfect inward-looking attitude”

The life of Tess Hoens is amazing, but for her, getting pregnant didn't go as she had thought. Because there is already enough of a facade and because honesty helps, she writes about how her pregnancy is going. This week she talks about the childbirth course.

We sat in the car for about three quarters of an hour and according to the lady who speaks our navigation, we have arrived at the destination. We are in an industrial area somewhere in the middle of the country. The childbirth course should be here soon, but I don't see anything indicated. ‘We must be completely wrong, that navigation is always wrong!’ A small frustration starts to bubble up when I see a couple standing there with the woman having a very round belly. Are we in the right place after all? We park the car, get out, and yes, there it is in mini format, the name of the woman giving the course. We are in the right place.

A bit awkwardly, we step into a small room where a semicircle of chairs has been arranged. In the middle, there is a table with food on it. Sandwiches with hot dogs, chips, bread with dips, and some raw vegetables. The brochure had stated that dinner would be provided, but I suspect that after this course we will still go eat something ourselves, judging by what I see. There are a few seats left, which causes choice stress, because next to whom will you sit? We choose the first spot we come to and end up sitting next to a small, thin man. His wife or girlfriend is also small and thin, but of course has a big belly. They are holding each other's hands and give us a nod as we take our seats.

The course begins. She gives a lot of information that I already knew because I am reading a book about childbirth, but for my boyfriend, everything is new and he is taking diligent notes in a notebook. After she has gone through the entire PowerPoint and given a small demonstration of a Baby Born through a pelvis, it's time for an exercise. She wants to test our mindset and has us all squeeze ice cubes for two minutes to see how we handle it. Afterwards, she goes down the line to give each woman feedback. ‘Tess, you had your eyes closed and you maintained total focus. A perfect, introspective attitude that will serve you well during your childbirth.’ Like a small child, I get a suppressed proud smile.

On the way back home in the car, my boyfriend tells me that he is very proud of how I handled the ice cube task and that he is sure I will do great during the childbirth. Now I am sure that women who have ever given birth and read this are probably laughing because this is compared to a bit of cold hands. And I completely agree with them. But still, I am glad that it turned out that I was the least dramatic one in the group and I am a little less afraid of childbirth now.