Digital flirting: here's how to do it

Hey you, how you doin’? To be honest: when it comes to flirting, this is often as far as I get. No, okay, I can start a normal conversation, but real flirting… I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I start to stutter and turn as red as a red flag screaming at the man in question: ‘RUN. AWAY.’ In real life, that is. Safely behind my phone or laptop, I’m a lot smoother. And thank goodness for that. Recognizable? Then these corona times might even be a blessing in disguise, because then you can wrap all of Tinder around your finger.

Not recognizable? That’s okay, because I have a handy overview for you on how to flirt. Because no matter how much my friends laugh at me in real life when I try to talk to a nice guy, they often ask me what they should send to a new match. Or a new LinkedIn connection. Yes, because even there I’m a pro. Okay, now I’m getting a bit overconfident, but I surely have a few tips that you can use.

Facebook
I’ll start with the least, so it can only get better. I think Facebook is a bit outdated when it comes to flirting. Especially if you’re still in the early stages. Nowadays, people are on Instagram more than on Facebook, so for convenience, I’ll assume you already know the person in question for a bit, because flirting on Facebook mainly works if you already have some inside jokes together. You do that foreplay on the other online channels. But if you’ve already taken those steps: tagging. Tagging is Facebook flirting in 2020. On funny memes that happen to describe things you’ve talked about or that are recognizable to both of you. Humor is a bit of the key to (beginning) romance, so: if the meme is funny, then you’re funny. 

Instagram
Ideal for the beginning flirt. Especially if your target has a public profile, of course, because a click on that follow button is done in no time. Subtly indicate that you’re interested, then that seed is at least planted. Liking old photos is something I would actually advise against, because that sends a bit too strong a signal. New photos, of course, just go for it. Reacting to stories is also absolutely a must (but don’t send a novel for every little silly story, of course). Sliding into DMs has become a concept for a reason.

LinkedIn
My last love was already a spark, but it became full on fire because of LinkedIn. It actually sounds quite hopeless and maybe I’m a bit biased, but I really think flirting via LinkedIn is great and it doesn’t take much effort. Just very simple: take a look at that person’s profile. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. And if that person looks back, you know right away that there’s interest. Now I wouldn’t — not that you can now the pub, but after corona — immediately study someone’s LinkedIn profile if you just met them 24 hours ago, but after a few days. Subtle but effective.

Tinder
I find this a tricky one. Because on Tinder, I feel like (I have the impression) the majority isn’t there to find a relationship, but to find a Mr./Mrs. Right for a Night. That’s perfectly fine if you’re both looking for that, of course. The opening line is obviously the most important here. Leave the cliché ‘did you fall from heaven OMG does it hurt’ far behind. Is there something in his/her profile that appeals to you, something you have in common? Jump on that in a spontaneous way, so not with a lame joke. I’m a fan of puns myself, but I would be a bit careful with that. You don’t want your Tinder match to think you’re making fun of them, that would be quite awkward. With Tinder, I always think: the more sincere, the better. So just send a ‘normal’ message where you respond to something from the profile, or just about recent events (everyone has something to say about corona). The less forced, the better. 

WhatsApp
Just like Tinder, I find this tricky too, because it’s so dependent on the person. I can at least advise you not to play a certain game. For example, don’t reply within an hour because you don’t want to seem too available. I think that kind of stuff is really nonsense: if you have each other’s number and you’re texting, just be yourself. Of course, you shouldn’t offer yourself up right away via the app, but don’t deliberately act very differently because you want to play that whole hard-to-get game. Just be yourself, because if that person doesn’t feel it anymore, it wouldn’t have worked anyway.