How to break up with a loved one
Break-ups are always, pardon my French, just pretty damn awful. K-U-T. And there isn't really a manual on how not to do it. Of course, it varies a lot by situation. Did your partner cheat? Then I think throwing all their clothes out the window is a fine option. But that's not very accepted when you break up amicably. Then throwing the entire contents of the house out the window seems a bit excessive. A bit drastic. But sometimes I hear those stories that really can't happen, in any case. And sometimes you hear those anecdotes that make you think: hey, that sounds like a mature break-up. The best and worst scenarios, can you take that with you?
1. Face-to-face vs. a message
At the top of the list of how-not-to-break-up: via text or WhatsApp. Or via email. Okay, if you've only had one date and you just don't feel it, then a message is really fine. But even then, I think a text is actually not done. But if you've really been in a relationship, if you were really ‘official‘, and you break up over the phone... No, no, no. I recently heard of a relationship that lasted seven years that ended via FaceTime. SEVEN. Years. FaceTime. Then you can also throw all their belongings outside, if someone does that. And throw their phone out after it too.
2. In the heat of the moment vs. well-considered
Those couples who shout that it's over at every argument or scream it at each other. And throw things. Yelling that they never want to see each other again. So exaggerated. Yes, every couple has arguments, of course, but if you're so intense (or bring that out in each other) that with every heated argument you say these kinds of things... I always find that quite childish and then I immediately have zero trust in that relationship. While you can also express what you're struggling with, maybe express your doubts about the relationship or decide to break up after weighing and discussing (and conversations). Sounds a lot better.
3. Cheating and getting caught vs. breaking up in time
I just find cheating really ugly. Whether that person misses excitement or has really fallen in love with someone else; it's all not done. And falling in love with someone else can happen, but then be respectful enough to break up with your soon-to-be ex-partner before you go on a slippery slope. I find it especially cowardly of those people who first want to be sure if their feelings for that other person are real by cheating. How can you not break up your relationship without knowing if it will work out with that other person? So ridiculous and selfish. 4. Badmouthing each other vs. not letting it show.
Two people, once (hopefully) in love, now huge enemies. No good words for each other. To be honest, I always think that says more about the one who spews all that negativity than about the so-called terrible ex. Because if you've ever had a relationship with them, there must be something good in that person, right? If it’s over because of cheating or something else nasty, I totally understand that you're angry. Furious. But then ultimately channel that energy into positivity. Delightfully airy, huh? But someone like that is really not worth your time and energy. If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing. Because constantly talking badly about someone is not a particularly nice look. For anyone.
And sometimes you hear those anecdotes that make you think: hey, that sounds like a mature break-up. The best and worst scenarios, can you take that with you?.
