If you miss your forbidden love...

Darling. I don't know where to begin. Months have flown by and I can only say that we have lost sight of each other. The cowards would say ‘it's not you, it's me’, but you know it's not me either. I've been longing for you for months.

February 2020 was the last time I had you in my arms. Together on the streets of Barcelona. Tapas, good wine, and happily going to bed. I still remember standing at the airport and being bummed that it was over again. We always did that, after every trip.

We have saved so many adventures that it's almost hard to give everything a place. Ziplining together through Costa Rica. Enjoying the squirrels in Central Park. Business class with Qatar Airways to Doha. 48-hour adventures in Vegas. Eating sticky rice with mango in Thailand. Boating on that little boat over the Mekong River, with a beautiful pink sunset. Searching for Justin Bieber waterfalls in Iceland. In the helicopter above the Grand Canyon. Chilling on the beach in Aruba. Sometimes I think back to it and can only sigh. You and I, we always did it. We were (or may I still say: are?) a killer team.

The fact that I no longer know how it feels to touch you irritates me. I don't even know where you are anymore and that doesn't feel okay. We are forbidden corona loves. We want to see each other, but it can't happen. It must not. After months of resistance, sadness, and frustration, I have strangely found some peace in the situation.

So much has changed by now. We walk the streets with face masks on. We have had time for ourselves, whether that was forced or not. I'm starting to wonder about it a bit. Are we broken, do you think? Was this strange life full of stimuli that we experienced together no longer worthy of a future? Do things go ‘as they go’ for a reason? Do you no longer feel a tingle when you think of me?

I'm just going to say it. I miss you. The coronavirus made our love impossible, but starting next week, I will make sure we are together again, I promise. I have a super fun plan to surprise you soon. I can't share too much about it yet, but make sure your suitcase is ready, darling, we're going for it again.

Dear, dear passport, I have missed you so much. Your cozy stamps. Your round corners. Even your strange, burgundy color. When I find you again (I think somewhere in the mess of my clothing room), I won't let you go anymore. Our travels may be a bit less far than before, but my love for you cannot be measured in kilometers.