Kiki's Bachelorette Ramblings: 10 things I thought during episode 3
*Alarm goes off. Searches for laptop. Turns on Videoland. Watching new episode of The Bachelorette.* Hey, I don't know how you all feel, dear viewers (seriously, what a silly word), but I am obsessed with the love quest of the Insta-cornflakes girl. Gaby Blaaser. A.k.a. Gaab.
You see, Gaab currently has everything a woman dreams of. She can unapologetically go on vacation with 18 single boys who are interested in her, hoping that her dream guy is among them. Well Gaab, I can tell you: I've already found him for you. Now you just have to discover it yourself, but hey, I won't spoil anything JORDY THE JEANSMAKER.
You figure it out yourself.
Anyway, shall we continue? Here are some highlights from episode 3 that require some aftertalk.
1. Genuinely feel sorry for cocktail shaker André who can make ZERO good impression on Gaab because he’s dying a thousand deaths during the bungee jump date.
Gaby: ‘I find it a bit scary. Is everything secured properly?’
Pale white brother of Brainpower with an extremely sour face: ‘Yeah... You only notice that down there.’
And then you knew: that rose was going to be difficult.
2. On the other hand, Jordy (read: Djordy) makes an extremely good impression during the bungee jumping. Honestly: I would just stop with the rest of the season, give him those twelve roses, and explore the inside of that South African castle with him, Gaby. Do it. Do it. Do it.
3. Then on to white-rose-Jordy (read: just Jordy without the D, Jesus, how many Jordys are there actually in that house?) whom I still don't fully understand. Mr. the personal trainer is just napping while receiving a handwritten letter. What kind of uninterested hard-to-get game is this? I really don't get that pompadour. Seriously hope he comes up with a spectacular date idea, otherwise I’ll write him off.
4. First impression of Joey who gets the privilege of a romantic private safari is actually very cute. Joey about his bullying past and a hundred kilos of clean slate. Look at you, handsome poppy. Give that man a round of applause!
5. Joep: ‘I still live with my parents. My mom is really my best friend. She also doesn’t make me feel like I need to leave, so I really appreciate that.’
Gaby: ‘Oh how nice. Yes, family is really very important to me too.’
Bye, no rose for Joep.
6. Kasper. Sales manager with a set of teeth bigger than Cameron Diaz. Laughs at everything. Quite pleasant.
7. Niek, dude, you know I love your personality, but take it easy with your everything-is-Gucci fanny pack and fleeky eyebrows, man. It’s not sexy if you have more designer bags than Gaby. I’m cracking up, where do they find all these (metro) men?!
8. ‘Every minute she spends with another is one you don’t have.’
Wow. You mean it.
9. Honestly, if we need to applaud SOMEONE, it’s actually for that Rick Brandstoker, huh. Damn man, look at him go. Presenting all those shows. Hilversum throws lobi at you like crazy. So much fun.
10. HUH, what happened to Ritchie? From: ‘Not because it’s Moët, but because it can’ crazy truck driver to: I look like Bambi with tears in my eyes and my mom just got shot by the hunters. Is this his vulnerable side? I think I need to get used to it.
P.S.: Ooooohlalalala, next week the first serious sparks will really fly and saliva will be exchanged. You understand: I’m front row again. Hoping that Gaby finds the one. #gunfactoryouknow.
P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you’re also a crazy nut and are going to watch this every week now.
P.P.P.S.: More ramblings and TV chatter? Follow me on Insta at @kikiduren. Tschüüüüss.
