Kiki's bachelorette ramblings: 10 things I thought during the finale!

I'm on the edge of my seat. Eyes are bulging out. Holy Mother of Lord, WHY is this so freaking exciting? Pfff, I'm just nervous. Why do I feel like I'm watching my own wedding? Why is Gaab even wearing a wedding dress? Why do I have the song Papi Chulo stuck in my head? ‘Gaby Gaby… Gaby Chulo, GabyGabyGaby DoeNouNieeee…’

The finale, guys. We've had to wait almost three months for this. But the cards have been shuffled, the last rose has been given away, Gaab has found her prince on the white horse and this is everything we need to talk about.

1. I'm genuinely cracking up at the sultry voice-over – including overly dramatic pauses – from our boy Rick Brandsteder. Wassup with that sexy voice and look all the time? After her long search… for the prince on the white horse… In this romantic fairy tale… mmmmm… she must give away her all-decisive red rose… to the man… with whom she… wants to… mmmmm… live happily ever after.

2. Okay. First things first: on to the first 24-hour date. ‘For Joey, Gaby has arranged a trip down memory lane?…’ HAHA, GIRL, those dates were just last week, what are you talking about?

3. What I love about Gaab is that she keeps surprising us with her outfits. I mean: who saw that neon green bikini with a black net dress coming on that yacht date? Not us, right?

4. And have you ever seen someone cry so much over a giraffe? That's what I'm saying: Gaab keeps surprising us. She's a star.

5. Meanwhile, she seems to be melting away during the 24-hour date with Joey. Our machine operator slash walrus spotter is going full throttle. Joey! We didn't agree on this, dude. No sex before marriage!! JOEY! WHAT IS HAPPENING BEHIND THAT CURTAIN?? JOJO!! JOEY?6. Nah, seriously, why are they repeating all those dates? First with the yacht and the safari, but now also Niek with the helicopter like Jethro? Do something new, come on. Boring.

7. 'Gaby has given me so much stress, she's now letting it out with that massage.' Gotta love Niek part 237. Mr. really proves to be a cool guy by giving Gaby time and space during their date.

8. Tweet of the week for sure, by @monchoubydoo: ‘I'm still waiting for the moment Jordy comes back from Devil's Island and throws a wrench in the works.’.

9. And then she was there. In her wedding dress. Long speech. Will it be Joey? Will it be Niek? The puppy or the slider? Who will she choose… ‘With pain in my heart, I have to tell you… That I can't give you that last rose…’ Niek's look. Oooooooh, my stomach. So sad all of a sudden. 'I wish you the best, it is what it is, darling.' Aaaaaaaaah.’

But we don't have much time to cry because omg, JOEY WINS. Confetti and a Barbie-and-Ken moment for Gaab and Joey!!!!! Aaaah, I think they're super cute together. Can they get married right away? They already have the outfits on, come on!.

10. Okay, but we are now collectively hoping for a season with a bachelor too, right? What kind of drama and juicy butt-squeezing TV must that produce? Bring it on. Jordy as bachelor?

P.S.: Hey, damn. Are we going to miss each other now? Oh no, luckily for us, there's also 'the reunion week' next week. Save the best for last. Our spicy Gaby Wasabi is in for some dramaaaaaaa.

on my YouTube channel so you get a notification tomorrow morning when I drop a new video featuring Joey telling ALL about his adventure. Trust me: there will be gooooooood juice spilled, you don’t wanna miss this.

P.P.S.: Do you want more nonsense and TV chatter? Follow me for that real lobi on Insta @kikiduren and subscribe here P.P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you also think that Joey and Gaby have shown all corners of that South African cabin. What a go-getter. #ThatsMyBoy.

I'm on the edge of my seat. Eyes are bulging out. Holy Mother of Lord, WHY is this so freaking exciting? Why do I feel like I'm watching…