Real life: ‘nobody knows that I'm the one who infected them with corona’

Celina (24) wasn't really worried about the coronavirus — she mostly found it annoying. She wasn't afraid of getting the virus herself. But she did get it, with mild symptoms. She finds it terrible that her friends now have it with worse symptoms. But they don't know that they probably got it from Celina.

‘It's become clear to me that I've underestimated everything, especially. I live in Amsterdam and actually found the intelligent lockdown quite annoying. No more going to the pub, all clubs closed... It felt a bit like my favorite activities were taken away. Just working from home and sitting at home. Really not for me. I live with one roommate, so luckily we helped each other through it a bit.'.

But we were mostly complaining about the whole situation. We both got fed up with it pretty quickly. I actually think that's why I didn't take it so seriously... Because I was too busy finding it annoying. My parents are a bit older, but they don't necessarily fall into the risk group. They did go into self-quarantine right away because my grandma is still alive and they wanted to see her. They really didn't want to risk the chance of infection, they said.

To be honest, I thought that was nonsense. The death toll wasn't that bad, and yes, it's contagious; but I didn't hear anyone in my surroundings who had it, and from the stories I heard, no one really had serious symptoms.

So I still saw my friends. And honestly, I wasn't the only one who was so lax about it. We all didn't really practice social distancing, even though we did stick to ‘our’ group. So we were often with about 10 people, eating or having drinks at someone's house, or all together in the park.

When the intelligent lockdown was over, I had actually completely forgotten about corona. So when I got a bad cold, I didn't even think about the fact that it could be corona. In hindsight, it's not so strange that I got it: many pubs or smaller party cafes were just secretly open, and I was often found there.

I also saw my parents again, which I can now really kick myself for. That cold just wouldn't go away, and in the meantime, a friend and my roommate got quite sick. Then a bell went off in my head and I took a test. Positive: corona. Another friend is also at home now, and he feels really terrible. Short of breath, fever, all the symptoms you hear about. The chance that I passed it on to him is really very high.

And I dare not tell them. Of course, they have been just as careless as I have, but I did pass it on to them. Maybe I'll eventually tell my friends. But my parents? I really don't dare to tell them, and I'm sure they won't want to see my grandma anymore. I can't do that to them... But I also can't forgive myself if they get it.’

In this unusual time, we asked people to share their honest story. To avoid hurting others, Celina's name has been changed.