Real Life: ‘I steal for the thrill’

Roos lives in New York with her husband and child and has more than you could wish for, but she steals because she is missing something. 

‘When I met Thijs, I had a good job. I drove a Mini convertible, had my own apartment in Buitenveldert, and worked a calm fifty-hour workweek. But Thijs was just on another level, so to speak. His father was a big real estate dealer, and Thijs had started working in his company and was at least as successful. He picked me up every time in a different car, and during our first trip, we flew privately to Rome. I still remember that his father invited us for a day on his boat, and I asked Thijs if there was also a toilet and a place where I could change on that boat. Thijs laughed then and just said: ‘Don't worry, sweetheart.’ I believe it was a yacht worth five million...'

When we had been together for two years, Thijs started a branch of the company in the US, and of course, he asked me to come along. Not just like that, but with a ring. We got married (first in his parents’ ’garden' with an afterparty at Club 55 in Saint-Tropez) and then headed to New York. Of course, we also lived in an apartment on the Upper East Side and I had everything my heart desired.

But it was also lonely. Thijs worked long days, and the weekends were often filled with lunches with potential clients. The moments together were good but scarce. I filled my days with sports and shopping. One time, when I had checked out a great Stella McCartney tracksuit at Jeffrey in Meatpacking, added a top from Ann Demeulemeester, and the salesperson didn't see it, my addiction was born. Walking out of the store without the alarm going off gave me a thrill like I used to get after a presentation for a hundred people.

With every shopping round, I tried to take something with me. Sometimes I would ‘accidentally’ wear something, often I would add something at the last moment, and I also often bought a whole bunch and created such chaos at checkout that something always slipped through.

When the alarm went off, I also had a strategy. I would always look a bit surprised and bewildered and let the salesperson check everything. He would always remove the security tag from my stolen item because they certainly didn't expect me, this incredibly good and nice customer, to steal something, so he quickly went through all the items, removed the tag in question, apologized a thousand times, and held the door open for me as I walked away. I ‘bought off’ my guilt by always buying so much that I knew they could afford to miss the stolen item. They had certainly made back the money on all the other items. It wasn't about the money, of course. I had a Centurion credit card (a credit card from American Express that you only get by invitation with a spending pattern of 500,000 euros per year) and a husband who wanted me to have everything.

My stealing addiction just continued when I was pregnant, and a stroller made stealing even easier. No one suspects a young mother of stealing in all her pure innocence. Moreover, I could easily hide things in my Bugaboo or attribute the fact that I forgot to pay for something to my exhaustion.

At one point, I was so disgusted with myself, my grotesque behavior, and my constantly elevated heart rate in stores that I decided to stop. After two bottles of wine, I told Thijs everything. And I remembered why I had married him in the first place. When I told him, he took me in his arms and rocked me back and forth. When I looked up again after five minutes (it could have been an hour), I saw that his cheeks were wet with tears. He felt guilty about my addiction. I had to give up so much, had to park everything that was mine. We went to therapy together to combat the addiction, and Thijs asked me to come work at his company. We now have a nanny who takes care of our son, and I am busy again. Occasionally, I catch another woman stealing. I can spot them just like a cocaine addict immediately recognizes other users. But I will never betray them, of course. If I've learned anything, it's that you can't judge so easily.’

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story. To avoid hurting others, the names of Roos and Thijs have been changed.