Rare things we think and do in times of corona
Working from home simultaneously does things to a person. I usually try to avoid video calls as much as possible, but suddenly I am the initiator of this phenomenon and I get pushed aside because colleagues haven't showered yet. Because the news is already heavy enough, we think and do light-hearted things in these times.
1. Buying toilet paper. Apparently. Let me calculate it for you, ladies and gentlemen. You use an average of half a roll of toilet paper per person per week, let's count the hoarders too, then it might be a whole one. So you only need 52 rolls on a yearly basis, so don't take more from the supermarket than you use.
2. Washing your hands five times every morning while you haven't seen anyone, haven't been out, and have only been sitting with yourself. And don't think of anything dirty right away.
3. Checking how many call minutes you have, because I have never called this much in my life. Not even in the past, and that says something.
4. Refreshing the NOS live blog a thousand times a day, because maybe there is still news, while at the same time you are starting to get news fatigue.
5. Walking in circles and then planning to do one block, but ending up with an extension (!), because otherwise you won't get outside at all. An extension, you read that right.
6. Searching for the best 7-minute workouts, because of course, we still need to stay a bit fit between binge-watching Netflix.
7. Sending photos of my blooming magnolia in the front yard, while of course, no one cares a bit and I secretly start to feel like a 60-plusser. But not much else is happening in my life.
8. Going through the options of Thuisbezorgd and Gault&Millau instead of slumping on a terrace, I foresee a weekend with food from a dark kitchen. These are so-called restaurants without seating. Which I find very interesting.
9. No shaking hands. No hugging. Keeping distance. Why is that man walking so close to me in the bread aisle, for goodness' sake? I'm glad my partner will be home soon so I can sit innocently next to someone again.
10. Should I get flowers or is that weird if there are no zucchinis left on the shelves?
11. Today I am really, really, really putting on mascara and getting dressed, even if it's just because I risk being FaceTimed.
12. The speech by PM Rutte was viewed by 7 million people. What could the other 10 million have been doing? I even parked fresh babies in bouncers in front of the TV in the name of history.
13. And how the hell can there be traffic jams on Dutch highways? What could be so important near the A2 at Roosteren that we ignore the call to stay home?
14. Waving to my new neighbor, because she has walked by nine times this morning. The last time I just pretended to be engrossed in my work, while I definitely saw her.
15. Hmmm, those baseboards really need to be put on, just like that cable channel.
16. Showering just a bit longer than necessary, without washing your hair because your appointments are canceled, and wondering how high the water bill will go if this lasts another three weeks.
Thank goodness we don't only do weird things, like sending cards through mailboxes to offer help to neighbors, calling loved ones more often, and applauding tonight for all the people who work so hard in healthcare, because they deserve a standing ovation.
