Suddenly you know it: I can be very good alone

It's not that this insight suddenly came to me out of nowhere, because this quarantine is of course the instigator, as you understand. I see myself as a person who loves people, I like to have many around me and preferably often. But now it turns out quite accidentally that I can be particularly good alone.

With the risk that I might end up as a hermit, a small disclaimer: I still prefer to be with people than without, let that be clear. I am also in the luxury that someone comes home in the evening with whom I can have a good conversation (or not) and share a glass of wine. But between eight and seven, I am currently spending my time alone. I walk, alone. I drink coffee, alone. I have lunch, alone. I work, alone. Of course, I occasionally call someone to chat, but if that doesn't work out, that's okay too. What is remarkable is that research by psychologist Timothy Wilson shows that people would rather torture themselves with small electric shocks than do nothing alone for fifteen (!) minutes, I read in Happinez. I still need to process that there were actually participants in this study who said: yes, of course, I'll participate, give me electric shocks, but that's beside the point. How amazed is it that we humans nowadays can hardly be without company?

Being alone has its advantages. It seems to make you more creative and productive (true). Furthermore, being with yourself gives a sense of independence and boosts your self-confidence. I actually see mostly benefits, but how is it that we panic so much about being alone? Because we associate being alone with being lonely, and that scares us. Logically, because research shows that lonely people even live shorter lives. But being alone is not the same as being lonely, and training yourself to spend time with yourself can actually counteract these kinds of feelings.

By taking the space to be alone, you also take some distance from things that influence you. If you let that be for what it is, you seem to create space in your mind for what you find important or for that stream of creative ideas. And all of that with just fifteen minutes a day. After that, you can just call someone to catch up and have a digital drink.  

Source: Happinez