The 25 things I thought during the last week of Love Island

Ooooh, that was it again, the very last week of Love Island. Completely rubbish. Couldn't they have made it last a bit longer because of corona? From tomorrow, the chance is quite big that we will end up in some sort of lockdown again, so all guilty pleasures on TV are welcome. We could have had just a few more bombshells, Fabiënne could have come back for the sake of it — third time's the charm, right? — and there could have been just a bit more drama. But unfortunately.

But luckily that last week was one where I sometimes stood watching with my mouth open. There was singing, there was crying — mainly by Mert, by the way. People were exposed. This week had EVERYTHING. Oh and, dear makers, would it be possible for Remco to maybe be in quarantine in a hotel room in Gran Canaria instead of here in the Netherlands? And then for about three weeks or so? Thank you in advance.

1. Oh god, a talent show. Is Giuliano going to sing? Is this the moment we've all secretly been waiting for?

2. Huh. HUH. I didn't see this one coming at all. Seriously, Eilish, I think you're great, but even during the rehearsal, I turned my sound down a bit. Okay, off. I turned the sound off. This was not good.

3. Hilarious how naturally and smoothly Naomi shakes those hips with Feline next to her, who I have never seen do anything so serious in this entire Love Island season. With full dedication.

4. Oh no, Eilish… What are you doing to yourself, girl. It can't be that Maan meant this song this way. Why are you singing about things that are for ‘your whole life’ and talking about ‘always’? A WEEK ago, he consciously chose to be in a couple with someone else — moreover, with Fabiënne.

5. ‘It didn’t ehhh… come out crystal clear from her mouth. But it did come out crystal clear from her heart.’ Mert, I love you.

6. But maybe you know it's true love if Gianni has genuinely fallen in love after this song. Sorry, it was really meant to be the sweetest, but if this had been done fifteen years ago on Idols, Jerney Kaagman would have interrupted you after the first line with the question if it was a joke. ‘Let that dream go.’ © Henkjan Smits.

7. Ah, Holly and Victor are on their way. Now the Islanders have to pretend they don't all know 100 percent for sure that Koen and Naomi are going home.

8. Aren't these girls all in their 20s? Is it still normal to discuss how his last name fits with yours during a holiday romance? I really feel like Mattheüs and Jaimy are just doing a massive charm offensive because they want to reach the final. They keep telling each other how crazy they are about each other… But that's literally the only conversation they have. Where's the depth? Does Matthie even have that? Why do they want a dog and not an alpaca?

9. That whole little item with those babies is really the most ridiculous thing there is. Leave me alone, man. And why is everyone taking it so seriously? It's a DOLL. Throw it in the pool. Rip off the limbs. Make. It. QUIET. And then those girls who swoon when their guy takes good care of the baby. How? It's a piece of plastic. Make me something to eat, pour a drink, then you've really got me.

10. And then the girls have a nice relaxing day… Where Feline observes that the men have really changed because of those babies and are starting to think about their future. Girlfriend, the only thing they're thinking about is that they're really too old for toys.

11. I refuse to say anything about the so-called sincere letter that Remco wrote to Imen. Remco, we’re sick of you. Regards, all of the Netherlands and Belgium.

12. Ohhh, poor Imen. Don't do it. Don't say you love him. It's definitely not a good sign if you really have to pull that out of someone and for goodness' sake, what a wet blanket that Remco is.

13. Understandable that it's really super abnormal for the Islanders to see their family again, you know… But for us, it's a bit — how do I say this nicely — boring?

14. These last two episodes are a bit tame anyway. Are they saving the best for last or are the Islanders themselves also a bit done with that villa?

15. Wooow, I think there have been rumors in previous years about possible boyfriends or girlfriends at home, but they never brought that up in the villa. This is just true: Remco has someone at home too.

16. And you can already see him nodding, he just knows this is coming. WET BLANKET. Poor Imen. Remco is here for the Insta-fame and just hopes to be sent straight to Temptation or something? I can totally see that happening. I hope that girl has blocked him everywhere by now. A guy who can say to others with a straight face that he loves her is someone you don't want in your life. Yes, just a bit of relationship advice from me.

17. Does anyone else miss the festivals when you look at Remco's jaws? My god, put a techno tune under it and he could go straight to Dumpert with the tight internet freaks. Tighter than tight.

18. Viktor: ‘Remco, do you realize that for six weeks you haven't just deceived your fellow Islanders, but also the viewers in the Netherlands?’ Remco: ‘I don't necessarily realize that, because Vik, JUST LOOK at the number of Insta followers I've gained.’ That's 100 percent what Remco was thinking at that moment.

19. All those Islanders who still act understanding towards Remco are all dodos in my opinion. He also acts so pathetic and I am completely done with that Batman-like whispering tone of his that he talks in all the time. Was #RemcoIsOverParty already trending? I hope so.

20. YES, Saturday. That means another new episode of Love Island. Is this the finale then? I'm completely ready for… What. Is. THIS. An Aftersun on Saturday? Yo Videoland, couldn't you have communicated that a bit clearer? All plans canceled (oh no just kidding, I didn't have any anyway, thanks, corona) for nothing.

21. Okay, Sunday evening then. Totally fine. I'm completely ready for… YO VIDEOLAND, is it not working? The first fifteen minutes my whole app won't start and then it's not on there.

22. Just kidding: it is on there but with the image of the Aftersun. Sorry, but if even you didn't understand why these two days were switched, then you can't assume that I did.

23. ‘Mert, are you crying now?’
‘HUH. Why.’
‘Eehh… Because you're crying.’ I love Mert part 2.

24. That's why I just skipped to Mert and Joan's letters. All those flashbacks don't interest me, I've just watched all of this for six weeks, six days a week.

25. YAAAAAA. Joan and Mert. LOVE THIS. The only deserving couple that could have won. Does this make the whole Remco-gate right? Of course not. But I find them intensely cute and I actually want Mert to release a bundle with his most brilliant texts.

Yesss people, that was it again. Love Island 2021. Now the Insta-fame really begins for all participants, which they will probably all use to the fullest. Looking at previous seasons, I think everyone has had their lips done for free at the same clinic. Who will it be this season? And will the couples really stay together?

And what do you think of the new rumor that Feline also has a lover at home? That she would only participate to draw attention to type 1 diabetes? Honestly: I actually believe it. And I also believe that she has often talked about her illness, but that the production has cut all those pieces out. That she and Giuliano will really have a long-term relationship, I don't think anyone sees that happening.