This is the Johan Derksen of America

Maybe Johan Derksen doesn't like that I compare him to Piers Morgan, and maybe on the other side of the big pond, a shiver runs down his spine when he reads that he is ‘a’ Johan Derksen-like, but I don't really care that much. They both have thick skin with such a sturdy layer of fat that the average duck is jealous. Everything seems to slide off them. Those two can take it, in short.

Piers Morgan may not immediately ring seventeen bells for you, but if I tell you that Kim Kardashian recently deleted an Instagram post because of a tweet from Piers, then I have your attention, right?

He is also the man who verbally delivers a tremendous Rico Verhoeven to Meghan Markle. She really gets one left hook after another uppercut from our Piers. I can imagine you want to know who he is.

Well, first of all, he is British and not American. But he is a famous American. He was once the youngest editor-in-chief of a British newspaper (a tabloid, but still, you don't just get into the highest echelon), won the famous version of The Apprentice (remember: that good old time when our little Donald Trump was still an entertaining media phenomenon and not the president of America?), was a judge on America’s Got Talent, and now hosts a morning show every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday: Goodmorning Britain.

You might be wondering about that tweet about Kim Kardashian. Well, here's the deal. Her sister Kendall had a birthday, and that calls for an Insta-congratulation. Usually, people post a photo of their cute little sister with baby fat trying to blow out three candles in a garden with a fence and a blow-up pool in the background. Something like that. With the Kardashians, it goes just a bit differently. Kim posted a snapshot of her and Kendall, under a shower, dressed in a T-shirt that clung damply to their bodies, eye makeup slightly smudged but not too much. Both looking at the camera and definitely not at each other. I think some drafty young folks must have had some restless hours after seeing this image, but to say: wow, what a heartwarming birthday post... Mwah.

Piers thought so too, so he tweeted the image to his millions of followers with the text: ‘Weird.’.

And then it all kicked off. With supporters and opponents as it goes on planet Instagram. And then Kim hit delete. Just like that.

Piers himself once got into it with butter and sugar, thanks to my own Anouk Smulders. We were sitting in LA on the terrace of hotel Shutters on the Beach (yes, I used to go out sometimes) and a man at the next table started rambling about Dennis Bergkamp when he heard we were from the Netherlands. That goal then and there and that sliding here and there. ‘Stop it, I hear nothing else my whole life,’ Anouk said. The man looked surprised. ‘Dennis Bergkamp is my brother.’ Wine came, questions came. A photo had to be taken because hey, this was special, and Twitter accounts and Insta addresses were exchanged. The best man had five million followers. The man was someone.

The next morning, Anouk received a DM. That he had scoured the entire internet but only found four brothers (something like that) with Bergkamp, but no sister. And that his wife had laughed exceptionally hard when she heard this story.

What do you think? Should I make Kim and Kendall happy with this anecdote?