This is the reason why you are not losing weight if you want to

It is by far the most frequently asked question I received in 2019. ‘Kiki, I want to lose weight, but I can't, how did you do it?’ Sometimes I didn't really know what to reply to you. Especially not when I was asked about ‘the secret of the switch on’. How do you explain a transformation? Especially when it also involves an inner change in yourself? Any answer would fall short.

If I were to answer quite ‘flatly’, I would say: adjust my diet, exercise three times a week with a personal trainer, and avoid alcohol for about three months.

But that answer doesn't sound very satisfying, and I understand that. We want life to remain a bit enjoyable. If we want to lose weight, we prefer the quick route and without too much effort.

The fact that we have to starve ourselves for a few weeks we just accept. Living on shakes with a chemical vanilla flavor, meal bars, and other crash diet packages and powdery soups and muck and misery. It comes with the territory, right? Mwah. The weight loss industry is one where a lot of money is made. Only now do I realize how all my past diet attempts (and trust me: I have tried EVERYTHING) did not contribute at all to a slimmer body in the long term.

If you ask me again now: ‘Kiek, what is the secret?’, then I think I know it. I read something in the book ‘We can change, be happy and loved’ by Chetanya de Wit and it is exactly what I have done, although I could never find the right words myself.

Ready?

‘We always deal with an intention and an execution of an intention. And we need to see if we have aligned the execution of an action in a direct line with our intention.’ For example: we want to lose weight. And we tell ourselves that we truly have the intention to lose weight. If we are not losing weight in practice, then we know that we have not aligned our action with our intention. There is therefore a discrepancy somewhere.

So: although we may think we want to lose weight, we have not made it the right priority. Many people do not live towards the outcome of losing weight, but seek somewhere along the way the confirmation that they are not worth it. What you then also see reflected in the outcome of not losing weight. You have to find it worth it for yourself.

So actually: you can always see from the outcomes in your life what our true intention has been. Even if you dream of a different reality (losing weight), if you don't really act towards it, your outcome will not improve.

I asked myself in January 2019: are you willing to turn things around? To not go out to eat so often for a while? Are you willing to give up alcohol? Are you willing to stop smoking? Are you willing to do what you never did? Are you willing to put on your running shoes at 9:00 AM on a Sunday?

I remember that one winter day, when I tried to make ‘something’ of it in the snow, without any experience, without any fitness, with a bright red face. I remember all the times my friends said: ‘Ugh, Kiek, don't be so boring.’ I remember all the times I planned appointments around my sports classes.

I aligned my actions with my intention. And that is, in my opinion, the only way to successfully lose weight.

Do you find this helpful? I hope so.

SUCCESS!

Image: Kirsten van Santen