“Two lines”

My eighteenth column for Amayzine. That means it has been about nine months since I started writing about this. It has been two and a half years since my boyfriend and I decided to go for a little one. And it is now week 19 of my pregnancy, time to finally share the positive part with you all.

After the first ovulation, they kept coming in the following months, those jumping eggs. I had ovulations and I got my period again. It was so super nice that the little box stuck to my belly took care of that. And that without me having much trouble with the hormones. Because my period always came a day earlier than the day I expected it, I had never been inclined to take a pregnancy test. Every time the blood indicated again that I was not pregnant. But it didn't give a hopeless feeling yet, because I had only been trying for three months, so I had to try to forget all the time I had spent on it before.

Now it is month four since I started having ovulations and I am one day late. One day, that means nothing. Don't get all wild thoughts right away, Tess! Don't buy a test right away, Tess! I kept calm. One day later I look in the place where I kept my tests (because of all those hopeless months I hadn't looked in this place for a long time) to see if there happens to be one left. Yes! There lies a ClearBlue, staring at me from the top of the little box. It was still morning and I call to my boyfriend: ‘We have another test, should I take it? I can use morning urine now!’ ‘No, let's do it tomorrow, then it's a bit more certain,’ he replies from the bedroom. I stand on my toes and grab the test. ‘I'll just do it now, tomorrow I can always do it again.’ He knows me a bit by now so this doesn't surprise him. He just calls back that he wants to read the test.

I crawled back next to him in bed and handed him the test. We wait exaggeratedly long before we allow ourselves to read the screen. After a few minutes, he pulls the test out from under the duvet and examines it. I see nothing. He looks at it and he looks at it and I can't believe he takes so long to say something. Is he afraid of disappointing me? He doesn't look happy. I try to be patient but at some point, I pull the test from his hand. My mouth literally drops open. Two lines! It worked! I am pregnant!