What I think about while meditating

At five to eight, I turn on my kettle, meanwhile I start up my noise-cancelling headphones and dive into the meditation library for a suitable meditation of the day, and at eight o'clock I start meditating. I do this every morning around the same time, in the same chair, and it does things to you.

Did you know that science says you need to stick to a habit for 21 days before it hooks into your system? Many people start with the app Headspace, I personally have a subscription to Willemijn Welten, but Spotify and YouTube are also full of meditations you can do. Some days my meditation goes better than others, here are some thoughts I have in the meantime.

1.  Itchy on my left nostril. Would the meditation be less successful if I quickly scratch it?

2. I can never, but really NEVER hold my breath for 15 seconds (!). Not even in, but completely out and empty, without fresh oxygen in my lungs.

3. “Bring your hands in front of your chest and then up above your head and back down the sides.” Hmmm, can the neighbors actually see me?

4. Very tense elbows, how on earth do you relax those things?

5. “Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, breathe in…” Whoa, I can actually hold my breath for 15 seconds. Without fresh oxygen. Intense.

6. My thigh touches the side of the chair, so I'm not exactly centered in the middle. Annoying.

7. That one article needs to be finished by eleven o'clock, I must not forget that email, and where do I buy nice candles during this lockdown?

8. “Bring your attention back to your breathing.” Damn, how does she know I was thinking about gold-colored and twisted candles?

9. God, how nice, is there a maximum to how much time you can effectively meditate per day? That if you go over three hours, the effect reverses? How awful would that be.

10. People really need to meditate more often.

11.  “If you want, you can focus your attention on your third eye.” That always feels a bit like cross-eyed with my eyes closed.

12. Aaaah, no. Is it already over? I want it to rain gold for much longer and I want to walk around in the place of my dreams.

13. I really need to meditate on a mountain among the monks.

14. Let me google where that can be done.

15. Do people think I'm airy-fairy now?

16. Like that's important.

By the way, did you know that meditating is very healthy but also handy?

• Your concentration improves.
• Meditation reduces feelings of stress.
• Emotionally, you become more balanced.
• It reduces fears (note: with an anxiety disorder, professional guidance in meditation may be needed).
• And by meditating, chronic complaints can even decrease.
• Your brain stays young longer.